A Mother’s Love
Gone are her memories.
Everything is . . .gone.
Please welcome Author Barb Han to Everybody Needs a Little Romance

The month of February is all about love. With Valentine’s Day around the corner, who can help but think about it? Walk into the grocery, and, BAM, red hearts and roses are everywhere. Big box stores? They have all the romantic paraphernalia covered too. Love is everywhere. And if I really think about it, our obsession with love isn’t confined to the month of February. It’s just harder to get away from then.
In reality, we think about love in some form or fashion for the other eleven months as well. Why is that? We need it to ensure survival of our species for one. That’s true. Finding that connection with someone else, reproducing, is written into our DNA. But does it go deeper than that?
I think it does.
The first love we encounter isn’t romantic at all. For most of us, it begins long before we’re even born. It starts in our mothers’ hearts and grows like seeds in their bellies (just like we do). Some people say there is no stronger love than a mother’s love for her child. Being a mother myself, I wouldn’t argue against the point.
This is one of my favorite quotes by Sunita Sharma:
“The palm on your fevered brow, the soft kisses when you need them most, the grip that steadies you on rocky roads, the hand that feeds and nurtures you, the voice that tells you that you are loved, the shadow that walks beside you unconditional and enduring…a mother’s love.”
But what happens when it all goes wrong? What happens when it’s overbearing and just too much to handle? When it suffocates? Or, as unthinkable as this is to me, doesn’t exist at all?
How does that shape us?
Prisons are filled with men and women who didn’t get enough love, enough nurturing, enough, dare I say, mothering? Real mother’s love is like stepping into the sunshine where plants (and children) flourish. The flip side? The absence of it finds us in a cold, stark, and dark place.
For a writer, it’s fertile ground. I guess that’s why there’s some aspect of mother’s love in each of my books. The power of it. The need for it. The complications it sometimes brings. A mother’s love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe and that concept is far too fascinating for me not to explore.
My mother helped shape me with her unwavering belief I could do anything I set my mind to. She never doubted me no matter how outlandish my goal might’ve been. I’m grateful for that. For her.
How has your mother’s love shaped you?
To learn more about Barb Han, or watch the trailer of Gone, check out http://www.barbhan.com/ Barb will be doing a book giveaway to one lucky commenter. Barb, thanks for joining us today. Powerful post.

Feb 08, 2013 @ 07:52:19
Great post, Barbara. I’ve heard it said that to grow up mentally healthy, a child needs one champion — one person, mother or other, who thinks they’re special, and wonderful.
That’s how powerful love is.
My mother taught me through example, of how strong a woman is. I’ve tried since to live up to her shining example.
Feb 08, 2013 @ 08:06:11
Good morning, Laura. I believe it! How beautiful that you can say that about your mother. I’m sure you make her proud!!
Feb 08, 2013 @ 07:56:19
Powerful Post. Happy Valentine’s month, Barb, I used to edit for Pikes Peak Parent, and bonding was often a topic. I’ve seen firsthand what happens to a child who hasn’t had the benefit of bonding with a parent. They become antisocial, paranoid, and insecure. Lucky child who has a mom, dad, adopted or otherwise to stand in his corner very early on and throughout his formative years.
Donnell recently posted..Help! I’ve Lost My Noodle
Feb 08, 2013 @ 08:10:09
Good morning, Donnell. Wow, it’s great to hear from someone with your experience. I bet that knowledge comes in handy for your books too. I’m reading (and loving!) The Past Came Hunting right now, and I can already see where you’ve used your expertise in the teen/parent relationships. They’re so rich and complicated and beautiful!
Barb Han recently posted..POP MOM’s Bookclub
Feb 08, 2013 @ 08:18:36
Well, thanks, Barb! I really appreciate it and hope you enjoy it. I’ve been raving about GONE, I think we may have a lot in common preference-wise in books.
I forgot to say my mother has a very intersting history. She’s such a strong, loving woman and one day I’m going to write a book about her childhood and the relationships that got her through it. Thanks for being with us today; I just had to impose on you
and let more people find out about you!
Donnell recently posted..Help! I’ve Lost My Noodle
Feb 08, 2013 @ 08:32:30
I, for one, can’t wait to read that book!! Thank you so much!!! You made my day!!!
Barb Han recently posted..POP MOM’s Bookclub
Feb 08, 2013 @ 08:38:10
Oh and I just saw that you love Sandra Brown…and she’s one of my all-time favorite authors!!!! I think we definitely have similar reading interests.
Barb Han recently posted..POP MOM’s Bookclub
Feb 08, 2013 @ 08:10:18
It truly breaks my heart to see children who are unloved by their parents. I really believe that not all people are cut out to be parents. I remember having a conversation with my mother about my decision to not have children. I don’t really like being around kids and I’m kind of selfish about my time. Mom (and many MANY others) kept assuring me that “it’s different when it’s your child,” but I kept saying, “But what if it’s not?” I couldn’t do that to a child.
After 17+ years in health care, with the majority in Obstetrics, I can attest to the fact that maternal love is not a given. Not all women love their children. They don’t like being a mother. And believe those children suffer greatly.
My mom loved being a mother…still does and I’m WAY past the mothering stage.
But I guess once a loving mother always a loving mother
Feb 08, 2013 @ 08:20:24
Cyndi, you’re my hero. I have so much respect for people who make the decision to not have children. And, heck, girl, you’ve contributed throughout your life in so many other ways. I suspect you knew you wanted to put your soul and heart in other places, and don’t forget I’ve seen your resume!
Donnell recently posted..Help! I’ve Lost My Noodle
Feb 08, 2013 @ 08:36:29
I agree 100 %, Cynthia, it is heartbreaking to see unloved children!! I think you’re dead on about not everyone being cut out to be parents (or wanting to) and I have so much respect for your decision!! My aunt never had children and she’s had a wonderful, full life. (she’s nearly 80 now) I love that your mom still wants to mother you!!

Barb Han recently posted..POP MOM’s Bookclub
Feb 08, 2013 @ 08:21:11
Great post, Barb! I loved GONE! The deep ties between a mother and child came through on every page.
Much luck and many sales!
Jerrie Alexander recently posted..Monday-Monday My reaction to the word ‘plot’
Feb 08, 2013 @ 08:37:03
Thank you so much, Jerrie!! That really means a lot!!
Barb Han recently posted..POP MOM’s Bookclub
Feb 08, 2013 @ 08:57:14
Thanks for sharing that, Barb. It’s great to have you here. My husband would probably tell you that my mother’s love is shaping me more and more each day…because I’m turning into her.
I am glad I grew up in the era before helicopter parenting became the norm. My parents did not attend every practice/game/assembly we participated in. I was not picked up and dropped off – I had a bike. I was raised in an era where parents felt safe enough to give their children more independence. I also think that space gave us better opportunity to love each other for who we are.
Margaret Ethridge recently posted..Monday Mayhem – Where’s Margaret?
Feb 08, 2013 @ 09:08:48
What your husband said is so funny, Margaret!!Your mother must be a wonderful person for you to want to turn into her!! I think that’s the highest compliment a daughter can pay her mother.
Independence teaches us so much, doesn’t it? We moved to the suburbs to give our children more of the freedom we grew up with. I love that my son can walk a block to the neighborhood park for pickup games without me needing to look over his shoulder. We came from a major city where I couldn’t let him play in the front yard without me being out there to supervise. It just wasn’t safe.
Feb 08, 2013 @ 09:23:52
Margaret, unbelievably I’ve never heard that term “helicopter parenting.” So so true these days. Barb, glad you’re in a neighborhood where you feel more secure. I’m sure you’ve had the standard talks with your kids, right? Oh gosh, I’m one of those helicopter parents!
Donnell recently posted..Help! I’ve Lost My Noodle
Feb 08, 2013 @ 09:31:21
Ha! Donnell, that’s so funny! I’m probably one of those helicopter parents too, shoot!! Yep, I’ve had the talk, but my husband laughed at me because my son (who is now finally allowed to go to the playground by himself) is about to turn fourteen. He’s a basketball player, and you know what that means…he’s not short. He’s already 5’9 and hasn’t hit his major growth spurt yet. I’d told my husband to make sure he walked him into a building instead of pulling up and dropping him off one time, and my husband just cracked a smile and said, “You know he’s taller than a lot of grown men.”
Barb Han recently posted..POP MOM’s Bookclub
Feb 08, 2013 @ 09:35:02
Whew! Why didn’t you tell me that! I pictured this little guy going to the playground with an overly trusting mom. Instead you have a Luke and Matt
Now you have to worry about the reverse — what he’s going to get into
Teasing… My son is 6′-1″ . No matter how tall or strong, you always worry. In addition to helicopter parenting–love that term–worrying comes with the job!
Donnell recently posted..Help! I’ve Lost My Noodle
Feb 08, 2013 @ 09:42:17
Oh gosh no! Ha! You are so right, he’s a Luke and Matt! That’s part of what I love about the story…I spend a lot of time on or around a basketball court…I can totally relate! Did your son play bball too? He had to with that height. And I totally agree, just like Cynthia pointed out, there’s no ‘off’ button for mothering. If you have a strong maternal instinct, you have a strong maternal instinct. Whatchagonnado? I have another son in Grad school, who has always been independent, and I’m so proud of him! Do I still worry? Sure. Do I need to? No. He has a good head on his shoulders. But, you’re right, worrying comes with the job.

Barb Han recently posted..POP MOM’s Bookclub
Feb 08, 2013 @ 09:50:06
Such a wonderful post. thanks for visiting with us today.
I know my mom supports me in everything I try.
Keri Ford recently posted..Your 30 Dress and Shoes
Feb 08, 2013 @ 10:10:54
Hi Keri! There isn’t much better in life than a supportive mother!
Barb Han recently posted..POP MOM’s Bookclub
Feb 08, 2013 @ 10:12:49
Wow Barb! Thanx for sharing. My mom is pretty much my best friend. We’re very close. Once again, l can’t wait to read Gone!
Chrissy recently posted..I sold Collision Force!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Feb 08, 2013 @ 10:33:09
I know I’ve said this already, but CONGRATS on this being your debut release month!! And that goes double for selling Collision Force!!!
Barb Han recently posted..POP MOM’s Bookclub
Feb 08, 2013 @ 10:31:51
Hi Chrissy! I love hearing that you’re so close to your mom. I hope my daughter says that about us some day. For now, she calls us, “Besties”. But, she’s eight.

Barb Han recently posted..POP MOM’s Bookclub
Feb 08, 2013 @ 10:46:10
Hi, Barb and Donnell! A wonderful post and GONE: Fabulous. Recently, I told my mom about blogging and she asked if I wrote about my family. I said I’d written about her, about the day at the library when she told the librarian to give me all the books I wanted to check out. She said I’d read them twice and probably the ones my sisters had as well.
Feb 08, 2013 @ 10:57:49
I still love that story, Vicki! *waving wildly* It was only natural that you would someday become a writer with a reading addiction like that. Thank you for coming by.
Barb Han recently posted..POP MOM’s Bookclub
Feb 08, 2013 @ 13:14:15
Barb,
Wonderful post! I loss my mom over 10 years ago. I miss her everyday. She raised four kids on her own with a bad heart. She taught me to be strong. I haven’t gotten your book yet, but I plan too after I get caught up with the ones I have.
Again, loved the post!
Diane
Diane Kratz recently posted..Women who fall in love with a psychopath…should they have known?
Feb 08, 2013 @ 13:26:24
Hi Diane! Thank you so much for stopping by. I’m in awe of your mother. What a beautiful and inspiring person! So sorry you lost her too soon!
Barb Han recently posted..POP MOM’s Bookclub
Feb 08, 2013 @ 13:28:42
Hi, Barb! Thanks for such a thought-provoking post! This is a topic I could probably muse on for way too long. My fellow ENALRs can attest to my tendency to over-comment even on superficial topics! LOL So I’m going to refrain from saying much today, and just say that motherhood is complex and has an immeasurable impact no matter what the circumstances.
Congratulations on the release of Gone, and good luck!

NJDamschroder recently posted..Get My Signature on Your E-Books
Feb 08, 2013 @ 13:53:39
Thank you so much, NJ! You are so right. This parenting thing is extremely complex and darned that the kids don’t come with manuals. The beautiful thing is that everyone is different and it’s important to find what works for your family!
Thanks so much for stopping by!!
Barb Han recently posted..POP MOM’s Bookclub
Feb 08, 2013 @ 13:43:18
Hey, Barb & Donnell. Congrats on your book, Barb. It’s quite a read.
As I read through all the comments, I found several possible directions with what I wanted to say. Then I read NJ’s response and I went, yeah, that’s really where I am. I’m generally long winded, but I could go on forever. Suffice it to say, I had a great Mom who believed in me 150% and adored my daughters who somehow now, miraculously, are very good friends. In all of my books the Heroine’s mother plays a part. Huh! Don’t think I’d ever thought of that. Great though provoking post, Barb.
Feb 08, 2013 @ 13:56:59
Hi there, Marsha! *waving wildly* I can’t wait to buy Vermont Escape!! It’s coming out this summer, right? I love that you just had a epiphany.
It’s a beautiful thing when families adore each other and get along over multiple generations. It’s wonderful you have that with yours.
Barb Han recently posted..POP MOM’s Bookclub
Feb 08, 2013 @ 15:51:17
Loved your post, Barb! My mom is still my best friend.
I’m just hoping to be lucky enough to have that same kind of relationship with my two daughers. Great to have you visit us today!
Melissa Ohnoutka recently posted..Good-bye FEAR
Feb 08, 2013 @ 16:00:32
Hi Melissa! Thanks so much for having me here. I love that your mom is your best friend. I hope for that with my daughter too.
Barb Han recently posted..POP MOM’s Bookclub
Feb 08, 2013 @ 16:30:55
Great post ladies !
Thanks for sharing.
~Angi
Feb 08, 2013 @ 18:08:45
Thanks, Angi!
Barb Han recently posted..POP MOM’s Bookclub
Feb 08, 2013 @ 19:15:14
Wonderful post! I so miss my mom, but I am so glad I had her!
Feb 08, 2013 @ 19:46:59
Hi Regina! Thanks so much for stopping by. I’m sorry for your loss. It sounds like you had a wonderful mom!
Barb Han recently posted..POP MOM’s Bookclub
Feb 09, 2013 @ 10:03:29
Loved the post. Can’t wait to read the book. To me there is nothing scarier than losing a child. And that didn’t come about until I had my son. That’s when I really understood what a mother’s love is all about.
Feb 09, 2013 @ 10:15:04
Delighted that Barb joined us on this topic! It definitely resonated. Best wishes with GONE, Barb
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