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Good Bye Is Never Easy… 2

Next Saturday I will be somewhere in Pennsylvania. I am taking a late flight out on Friday evening and on Saturday morning I get to finally meet my new love face to face when he picks me up at the airport.

We have talked about this moment a bit–neither of us is sure how we will react when we finally get to gaze into each other’s eyes…  Are we going to cry? Laugh? Faint?! Just give each other a big hug? Any and all reactions are possible. We are both emotional people so no telling what we will do. I just know I am very ready to take this next step into my new life.

However with all new beginnings comes endings as well, and the hardest of these is good-bye.

I don’t do good-bye well. I never have. Whether it is a final good-bye to a loved one or beloved pet or just a “farewell–see you later” to a friend or family member who is moving away, I don’t handle it as well as I would like to think I should.  I begin to think of all the memories I have shared with this person and I am saddened that that time is now over.  New times will start  but those old times are in the past and I can’t bring them back.

I am beginning to come to grips with the divorce. Today I am going to start emptying out the buffet the ex says he would like to keep. I have no emotional connection to it but its the first piece of furniture to go and the reality of our situation is sinking in. Soon there will come a day when I come home from work and  I will sit and listen for his car to drive up into the driveway and suddenly realize he isn’t coming home any more. and I am not sure how I will feel about that. 30 years is a long time to be with someone and it doesn’t just go away over night.  I suppose it doesn’t help that we are not getting divorced because we hate each other. We are still friends and truly have no animosity towards one another. So it hurts a bit and it makes me sad even as I look forward to a new life and new adventures.

When my youngest daughter left for college I cried. She was only an hour and a half away but it was still hard to drive away from her dorm that last time and realize I would not see her every day. Talking on the phone just doesn’t do it after a while. I would make up excuses to go see her whenever I could afford it. I’m sure she knew I was making excuses but she always was happy to see me!

So now I must go through a new good-bye. Good-bye to 30 years of memories. Many great memories, some not so great, but each one important to who I have become today. Only after I have put away the old can I truly embrace the new. I am looking forward to making new memories that are special and different.

How do you deal with good-bye? Do you cry? Smile through your tears? Pretend it doesn’t bother you? Look for the silver lining? I would be interested in your thoughts. Especially if you have gone through a divorce. Any tips for dealing with the emotions will be appreciated. Emotions I really didn’t think I would have but apparently I do…  Mostly I’m sad I think to see it end. Not sad or regretting my choice. Just sad that a relationship I valued and cherished is changing and I am not sure if it will survive the change. But change can be good so will be trying to make sure its done right.

Off I go. Time to start making that change. Time to start saying good-bye.


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Cosplay Every Day 0

There’s something about October.
At least this October…

My family and I began the month at the Cincinnati Comic Expo. Dressed as we were in jeans and t-shirts, I felt decidedly underdone. We were surrounded by hundreds of cosplayers–folks dressed up as superheroes and villains from their favorite comic universes. I saw women dressed as sexy jokers. I saw a couple cat-men. We even attended the costume contest and watched as people who have clearly invested hundreds of hours and hundreds of dollars building themselves into transformers and Jedi knights competed for $25 gift cards (and, of course, bragging rights). And as for corsets? Well, any costume can (and per my husband, probably should) have a corset.

I spent my birthday at our local aquarium watching my favorite of the cosplayers: The mermaids! These fit and fabulous women swam with the gar and the rainbow fish in the giant aquarium at Newport Aquarium, graciously allowing all comers to take their photos. As much as I loved the mermaids, though, I loved their helpers more–the gal in the scuba gear who was holding the tank off of which our mermaid got her oxygen. The fine young man who helped transfer the fully-tailed mermaid from her signing throne on land (because, you know, mermaids can’t walk on dry land!)

These past two weekends my sons have been on fall break, so we’ve hit ALL the festivals. We went to the Rosenvolk German Renaissance Festival in rural Indiana, which distinguishes itself from the massive Ohio Renfest (as far as I can tell) in that there’s less cleavage above the corset. Nevertheless, we were surrounded by lords, ladies, jesters and jousters (and if you haven’t seen a real joust, it’s a SERIOUS, dangerous thing!) Even the CFO of Hodgson Mill Flours handed out cookies and coupons in his courtier costume. One lady in a forest green and gold gown sang in German, but that was about the only way to distinguish this from your non-German renaissance faires we’ve been to in the past.

And then yesterday, we finished up at the Salt Festival at Big Bone Lick State Park. (Yes, that is really the park’s name). Pioneer reenactors in buckskins and hand-loomed wool cooked carrot cake in Dutch ovens over the open fire and taught my sons how to throw spears. Come to think of it, I don’t remember a single corset–probably because the work involved in keeping yourself alive on the frontier in 1830 didn’t leave time for such nonsense.

In a couple weeks, we have back-to-back Halloween parties. This year we’re going as Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Boone. Since she gave birth at least 10 times, I may have to put in a baby bump under the long, yellow cotton dress I’ve borrowed.

What is it about playing dress-up, even when you’re grown up? Reading books is a fairly private act–you can slide sideways into your pretend world and no one is the wiser. For all we know, that’s the Wall Street Journal on your e-reader. But when you lace up the corset, toss back the cape, and tug on the coonskin cap, you’re taking your imaginary world to a different level.

When did humans start costuming, as opposed to clothing? I suppose I could google, wiki, or even dust off the Encyclopedia Brittanica in the basement–but that sounds like at least as much work as lacing up a corset.

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A Moving Tribute 1

Sometimes when we see a picture, hear a lyric, or read something, it resonates, and we’re filled with emotion. As authors, we strive to engage reader’s emotions when we write and promote our novels. When I pick up a novel, I enjoy reading the letter from the author and often wonder about the story behind the dedication.

This past week in Kingston, Ontario, a parade of flags was set up. One hundred and twenty-eight Canadian flags, each one representing 1000 soldiers who went missing or lost their lives in the line of duty, have been mounted on a fence that runs along a busy road. As you drive by, the vibrant red and white flutters in the breeze. I imagine the soldiers standing at attention and their families waving, summoning them back to the safety of their arms.



It’s a very simple, very moving tribute to the Canadian soldiers who have lost their lives protecting us and others. The Flags of Remembrance will remain up until Remembrance Day on November 11 and every day I’ll be thinking of the sacrifice that the soldiers and their families have made.


Perfectly Unpredictable is an inspirational romance, which I hope resonates and brings hope to anyone who is grieving.

PerfectlyUnpredictflat3_200Kalia Beck always dreamed of starting a family, living in a house with a white picket fence, and finding her soul mate. Just not in that order. Kalia is coping with an unplanned pregnancy when she learns the father has passed away. She soon finds out that single parenthood isn’t easy, especially when the only thing that soothes the baby is the guitar-playing of a reluctant and reclusive next-door neighbor.

Mack Challen, lead guitarist in a rock and roll band, knows it takes a village to raise a child. He just doesn’t think there’s a village big enough to help “gay momma” and her screaming baby. Kalia and Mack aren’t looking for love and aren’t ready for each other, but when the future unfolds, it’s … Perfectly Unpredictable.

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