Hey, Romancers. Please help me welcome debut author Christi Barth!
Thank you so much for letting me visit today! I shamelessly stole my topic right from the name of your blog, because for my money, truer words were never spoken. Everlasting true love is great and all, but the mere existence of it isn’t enough. You need a regular dose of romance to give you that gooey, melted feeling on the
inside. And that feeling is what reminds you just how crazy in love you are.
The thing to remember is that, although lovely, romance isn’t limited to champagne and roses (although far be it for me to ever turn them down!). One dictionary defines romance as “to try to influence or curry favor with especially by lavishing personal attention, gifts or flattery”. It can be easy to throw down a credit card and go the gift route (see the aforementioned champagne and roses). But as romance authors, we need to dig deeper. Our hero/heroine should ooze romance from their pores, and that means hitting all three areas, not just the old standby of gifts.
Gifts are still good, regardless. I met a woman tonight whose husband bought her a Kindle last month because he noticed her lugging a bag full of books every time she traveled. Practical, yet eminently thoughtful. He gets a romance point for that!
Let’s turn to flattery. This can be tricky, because flattery can often lean towards cheesy. Here is a quote from my book Carolina Heat:
Mark covered her hand with his. “I don’t believe I’ve taken the opportunity to tell you how beautiful you look tonight. Your hair is like a molten sunset spreading across your shoulders.”
Annabelle’s vision blanked, then hazed over with indignation. “I’m going to come right out and tell you there is absolutely no chance I’ll sleep with you tonight.”
Sure, she overreacted a tad, but his line – so obviously a line – verged on the ridiculously smarmy. And timing is everything. They were on their first date, which was far too early to say something so over the top romantic. Sadly, this kind of hyperbole isn’t limited to the overactive imagination of romance writers. Years ago my best friend went to a concert in the park and hit it off with the man next to her. They went to a late dinner, and he proclaimed on the way to the car, “This is the night dreams are made of!” True story – I promise. Needless to say, she decided he was a nutcase and promptly got rid of him.
A little later, my hero tries again
“I don’t have time for a slow, conventional courtship.” Mark wrapped his arms around her snugly. “And I won’t try to monopolize every minute of your day. I know you have work to do, and as a matter of fact, I have to work tomorrow also. But I’m thirty four years old, and you intrigue me in a way no other woman ever has. I don’t intend to miss this chance.”
Now this is well done flattery (and it earns him a kiss). Definitely romance with a capital R. But my personal favorite form of romance is the lavishing of personal attention.
When it comes down to it, I just want my husband to be there, holding my hand, sharing life with me. So when he joins me at a Junior League event – where he is completely out of his element and surrounded by near strangers – that counts as a romantic gesture. When he sits next to me on the couch while I watch Greys Anatomy – that is romance. And when he comes with me to the library (my holy of holies) even though he has very little interest in anything book related just to spend time with me – that is romance.
So let’s open this up. What screams romance to you? What grand gesture does it for you? Or what not so grand, small yet significant thing dings the romance bell?