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Unwanted Guests…. 7

Summer is heating up here and of course that is exactly when my air conditioning decides to quit. Our pool has been green for over a year as well so I looked at the family and said”OK family–which do we fix? AC or pool because we can’t afford to do both…”  A vote was cast and the pool won which meant my”son” had to get a pump to drain it as well as rent a heavy-duty pressure washer to clean it with since our smaller one wasn’t strong enough. A couple of the kids pitched in to help and with a lot of elbow grease they finally had it clean enough to refill and drop in some chemicals to try to keep it that way. I have to admit its nice to have it clean and sparkling again!

My biggest issue, however, is not the pool or the AC. It’s the fact that for some reason my house has become the flophouse for everyone who has nowhere else to go. Now mind you, my nephew and niece have been here for almost a year since their mom has a job but can’t find a place to rent. Her rental history is abysmal and now its biting her in the butt. She was staying with her mom and her two youngest lived with us while her oldest son lived with his girlfriend and her  mom. Everyone had a place to be and since she helped out with the groceries I never said much.  However that all changed recently when she decided to move out of her mother’ s home and her oldest son got kicked out of the home his girlfriend’s mother is sharing with a friend. Suddenly I come home to people sleeping on every available surface in my house. My “son” even moved his girlfriend in with her four-year-old…  I walked into my house the other day and my “sister” was sprawled on one couch, her youngest on the love seat, her oldest in my computer chair while his girlfriend and my “son’s” girlfriend commandeered the couch in the family room!! I mean seriously. There was nowhere for me to even put my stuff down. I looked around and just went to my room and locked my door.

The thing is–I’m just not great at confrontation. I don’t know how to say anything to them without turning into a raging bitch from hell but damn it–this is MY house and I should be able to come home to peace and quiet and nobody here except the people who are supposed to be here!  I want to go outside and enjoy my pool without them following me and splashing around like a bunch of kids. I want to be able to turn on my computer and play my game without having to kick them off the TV to do so. Or to be able to watch TV myself from the comfort of my own couch.

My problem is that I am TOO NICE. I feel bad –up to a point–that they are in the situation they are in, but truthfully they have gotten themselves there because of bad choices they have personally made in their lives.  The oldest boy has a problem with his mouth overloading his ass and he copped an attitude with the people they were staying with and they told him to get out.  Easy enough for them–they haven’t helped raise the boy like I have. But he is trouble and I don’t want him or his girlfriend here at all. I am at the point I don’t want his 14-year-old brother here either–he is rude and disrespectful to his mother, sister, and my husband and I am pretty done with him. The 17-year-old niece I love and have no issues with–she is helpful and cleans and is quiet and fun to have around. Basically the rest of them have worn out their welcome. The kids were only supposed to be here for a few weeks while she found them a new place to live. In July it will be a year.

You always hear jokes about the house guests that won’t leave–well it’s only funny until its YOUR house they have invaded!

and before you tell me to just kick them out and to hell with the consequences just know I am not that kind of person. I was homeless when I was 19 years old. I lived in my VW Bug in the parking lot of a local church and survived on a garbage bag full of popcorn left over from a movie night for the junior high kids  and water from the drinking fountain at the park across the street.  It was not a fun time for me and I lived like that for about 2 months until a friend of mine brought me home and had me live with  her parents until I found a job and moved on.  To push that off on anyone is something I can’t bring myself to do yet I’m beginning to think I have to find a solution soon because  I just can’t live this way.

Supposedly my husband kicked them out the other day but they showed up today as my daughter and I were leaving to go grab a little lunch together.  I did tell the girlfriend that I wanted my computer (the monitor is a 40″ TV  and its great because I can watch TV on it or use it for a screen for the PC) and so she woke my niece up so she could find somewhere else for her to go in the house. The niece wasn’t happy and now the oldest nephew and the girlfriend have left.

So how do you deal with unwanted visitors? Or just people you don’t particularly like that seem to be clueless that you don’t like them?! I know if I say anything at all I will lose it completely and scream like a harridan and maybe spew green pea soup out of my spinning head!! Lol!  Give me some ideas or at least a poor baby!



7 COMMENTS | Categories,Uncategorized | Tags, , ,

Summer Crush 9

IMG_20160621_192511997I am FINALLY feeling like summer is here. It’s been long delayed.

First, because Tuesday was the first City Islanders FC soccer game we’ve been to this summer. (Regular season game. We did trek to Philly for a US Open Cup game last week, which we lost.)

Islanders games have been a staple of our summers for 8 years or so. We usually make the home opener, which is around Number Two’s birthday in late April. But this year, schedules conspired against us and we missed more than half the season! But we go again tonight, which will go a long way toward making me feel more balanced.

We’re also heating up the rest of the schedule. Next week, I take Number Two on two college visits. She did a Women in Engineering thing at UPenn with her friends in April (took the train to Philly, walked to campus, did this whole-day event) but it didn’t include a regular school tour, so we’re going to do that. Plus we’re visiting a smaller, liberal-arts-focused school so she can get a feel of different campuses. Hopefully that will allow her to narrow down her choices so we can make more visits in July and August.

In between vacations, that is. We’re going to Cape Cod in August because it’s near Number One, who didn’t come home for the summer. After we scheduled that, my in-laws decided to do a big family vacation in Williamsburg like we used to do when the kids were little. So that’s in a couple of weeks and everyone can’t wait.

In between, Number Two gets her wisdom teeth out. That’s the not-so-fun part of the summer crush.

I have a booksigning tomorrow and another author event in August. One thing I don’t have? A good word count in June! I’ve been working on multiple projects, but stalled about 2 weeks ago due to workload and other obligations. Momentum halted is always soooo hard to get back!

And then all of a sudden it will be fall again! Return of football (yay!) and the advent of Number Two’s senior year (bittersweet!) and the run up to Number One’s college graduation in December. For a summer that was so slow to get started, it’s sure racing by fast.

I think I’m just going to do this for a little while:


What are the summer events you’re looking forward to most?

9 COMMENTS | Categories,Natalie J. Damschroder | Tags

Special Time with Siblings 7

Cayman all 4 beach readingSiblings play a pretty significant role in our lives – shaping who we are and how we interact with others. I recently went away on holiday with my two sisters and my mom – something we hadn’t done together since we were younger. I had so much fun! There’s something about the camaraderie of family that is very special.



I see my three sons interacting now as they get older and it makes me very proud of them. There’s a seven-year gap between the youngest two. One of the things I love most is how the older ones have always treated the youngest. They were kind and respectful, shared their toys and clothes, and they never spoiled the magic of Christmas or the truth about the Tooth Fairy for the little one.

stock photo balloon-boyMy favourite moment was when my middle son was eleven years old and had a friend over to play. The youngest was only three at the time. I went downstairs to give the older ones some time without the baby brother, and they were all playing Nintendo together. The youngest had a controller in his hand – and executed a perfect ski jump in the game. I praised him, blown away that he had such excellent co-ordination. My middle son gave me a look – and I realized that the little one’s controller wasn’t plugged in! They had figured out a way to let him have a turn.

Now that my sons are older and two are living away from home, it warms my heart when they get together in the big city for a weekend and spend time together. Makes me feel like I did something right as a parent. And they, too, will cherish the sibling moments as much as me!

What is your favorite sibling memory or tradition? In Perfectly Planned, Chloe has a lot of fun with her five siblings – including her twin! They share happy family celebrations.

PerfectlyPlannedFlat2_850Chloe Keay is on the hunt for the perfect sperm donor, but who knew it would be this hard? So many things to consider in a father – sure height and hair color are important, but what about the real issues. How does he feel about bagpipe music? Does he buy the extended warranty? Skittles or M&Ms? She doesn’t want an average Joe. She’s narrowed it down to two candidates and has the perfect plan to pick the heir and the spare.

Staff Sergeant Rip Logan, head of the elite Tactics and Rescue Unit, has a gut feeling that Chloe Keay is trouble. She’s a sexy little spark plug who radiates innocence, but it doesn’t jibe with her suspicious behavior and probing questions. The fact that he’s attracted irritates him. What exactly is she after? And should he go with his gut or follow his heart?

Planning for love – what could possibly go wrong?




7 COMMENTS | Categories,Linda O'Connor | Tags, , , , , ,