The Fires Burning Within
This sounds like an inspirational post, but it isn’t…more confessioinal in nature I suppose.
Here’s one confession: I love this horrid, cold dreary month of January with a passion…uh, as a writer.
Why you ask?
Because while the wind is blowing, the inevitible cold fronts blasting down and my yard resembles a slushy, wet yellow marsh, I’m hammering away at the keys. Yep. Winter is my most productive time of year.Nothing to distract me except the occasional grocery store run and contemplating all the changes I will make in my house when I feel like crawling out of my warm hidey hole again. Not to mention I participate in the Ruby Slippered Sisterhood Winter Writing Festival where I drop into chatrooms and rack up 2k-3k at a time. Oh, and there is that New Years resolution for being more productive still chugging along in my soul, shaking pom pons at me and telling me “You can do it!’ So, yeah, I love this time of year for lighting a fire…in the hearth and in my writer’s soul.
So it’s fortuitous that my bleakest creative moment occurred a few weeks ago. Not only was I stuck in my writing, but, Confession number two, I comteplated something I’d never thought about before….quitting.
I know you’re probably thinking “Wait a sec, isn’t she under contract…for six more books?” Okay, you probably didn’t know that, but on the outside, I’ve been tripping right along releasing on average a book every four month over the past two and a half years. Should be gravy at this point. I should be a well-oiled machine.
But I’m not.
A month ago I was impossibly tired of writing. I had actually thought about emptying out my writing account and sending the money back to Harlequin. I kept thinking “what if I just stop here? 10 books published. That’s pretty good. Then I could work out and not look like a marshmallow. I could take up tennis and have lunch with the ladies at the club. I could go back to teaching Adult Ed. I mean, I loved teaching GED prep and I was good at itl Or I could help my husband more at his practice. Volunteer at the Children’s Hospital, chair a committee, work in my kid’s school office…anything but write a stupid book.”
Don’t know if any of y’all have been there, but it’s a crossroads kind of thing – should I stay or should I go?
I decided to not make any decisions. Our floors were coming up, husband having surgery, youngest kid struggling with grades, Christmas was on the horizon, a book releasing, and my car was being repaired – not a good time to make a drastic decision. So I took two weeks off. Oh, I still blogged and tweeted and FB, but I didn’t write on the story I’d begun hating with a thousand flames of hatred.
Then January came. I figured I needed some goals…but I wasn’t really enthused about anything. Exercise? Meh. Eating better? For a month before I’m back to real creamer? Being a NYT Bestseller? Ha. Yeah, uninspiring, huh? But as I sent the kids back to school on January 6th and sat down with a book at 39K due at the end of January (at 85K), I began to picture my life without a cup of coffee, a huge group of writer friends and a world I created. I didn’t like the way that life looked. So I dropped in on the RSS WWF and made some goals. 10K a week for the next four weeks. Basically, finish the book. Still wasn’t totally inspired, but I started writing that day. Ten days later, I’m at nearly 60K and I’ve got my groove back.
So what changed?
Having others believe in me.
If you’re ever at a point when you can’t write, try making a writing pact with a group of friends. There’s something about making a commitment that makes you, uh, meet a commitment. And when you start writing fast, allowing your inner editor to take a nap, you rediscover the joy of writing and creating a story. Your characters come alive, your voice pushes aside doubt and shines, and you become once again the writer you wanted to be. That’s where I am today. I committed in a very non-dramatic way, committed to writing every day, making it a habit and my muse returned home from her vacay in the woods of my mind and got to work with me.
There’s something to be said for doing work. Somehow, someway committing to do something like the Winter Writing Festival reawakened the fire always burning inside me and I know the embers will always be present, ready to be nurtured again if the flames should ever die down…all I need is friends and a commitment to try.
So what about you? What things have you done to pull yourself out of a slump? Have you ever done Nanowrmo? A similar writing fest? Do you do #1K1H? Or have you ever taken a hiatus? Wondering how other writers (and readers) deal with being burned out on the job?
Jan 16, 2013 @ 06:57:05
Liz, SO glad you didn’t throw in the towel!
You know what you need? A vacation. Somewhere warm. With palm trees. And drinks with umbrellas.
Sending you virtual rum punches, Sweetie – hang in there!
Jan 16, 2013 @ 11:23:08
I do need a vacation…but don’t see one on the horizon. But that’s okay. Part of my new years resolution was to give myself a break when I needed it. I’m trying very hard to handle my stress which may be why I’m now able to write again. I’ve told myself I don’t have to…not really. The world won’t stop turning if I don’t write today. But guess what? I’ve already written this morning
Liz Talley recently posted..The Nerd Who Loved Me
Jan 16, 2013 @ 08:01:42
Let’s see. Snow and ice last night. School on delay. Two extra hours with a mouthy teenager in my morning.
January is not my friend.
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Jan 16, 2013 @ 11:26:01
I hear you, sister! LOL
Liz Talley recently posted..The Nerd Who Loved Me
Jan 16, 2013 @ 08:39:49
It sounds like the two weeks off, was your writing-vacation. And, just like any good vacation, it recharged and got you back on track or at least pointed in the right direction.
I took a staycation once, before they gave them such a cool name. Mine was called an ‘I’m broke/staying home’ vacation. It did wonders for my sanity. I also got to pretend I was a tourist in Boston. I ended up spending every day on a ferry to one the harbor islands. I got back to work, still hating my job. I was soon tired of explaining to coworkers that staying in the city was still a vacation. Everyone assumed I had done spring cleaning or had some embarrassing medical procedure… why anyone who knew me would think I’d take time off to clean was a real mystery!
I started concentrating on my work, to avoid their stupidity and slowly I was seeing projects clearer and making lots of progress. I also quickly came to the conclusion that I needed to switch careers.
Sometimes the dark cloud is really just the rain your garden needs!
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Jan 16, 2013 @ 11:27:53
I love staycations…all too often we don’t get to explore our own city. Though I do like staying at a hotel. Nothing like having your bed made and the capability of room service. And, yes, that dark cloud was needed to teach me that I can take a break and I have control of my writing life (well, for the most part). Thanks!
Liz Talley recently posted..The Nerd Who Loved Me
Jan 16, 2013 @ 08:43:34
Under contract for 6 books! Awesome! But just shoot me! LOL I wouldn’t be able to write a single word. Oh, the pressure. I don’t do well under pressure. Ack! Hiatus are a must for me all year long. I don’t plan them, I just know when the writing gets to be a struggle I need to stop for a while. Do other things. Enjoy the little things. Reconnect with friends and family. It’s tough to get back into the swing of it, sometimes it’s scary hard. But once I do, I get that loving feeling all over again.
Good job and Good Luck!!!
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Jan 16, 2013 @ 11:29:49
It’s somewhat of a curse, but the thought of being under contract doesn’t cripple me. It’s comforting to a degree…but it does hem me in and force me to meet an obligation.
It is hard to get back into the swing of writing when you’ve stopped for a while. Like most jobs, it needs to have some continuity to it. Making writing a habit works for me. Thanks
Liz Talley recently posted..The Nerd Who Loved Me
Jan 16, 2013 @ 08:46:41
I’m one of those perverse people who does better when I just keep going. After I finished NaNo, I decided I could take it easy in December. I spent the month fiddling with short stories and writing blog posts when the mood hit me, but that was about it. Now, January has rolled around, deadlines are looming, and I’m having a hard time kicking it into gear.
I love writing challenges and have used everything from NaNoWriMo (4 times!) and #1k1hr to keep myself going. I have an online writing buddy and we prod each other during 1 hour sessions. Whatever works, right?
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Jan 16, 2013 @ 11:31:57
The writing challenges really help me. The past two days I’ve been competing for word count with Darynda Jones – she kicks my butt every time, but its forcing me to get words down and it’s fun.
The WFF lasts through the end of February and you can join at any time. Drop in the chat room anytime or check the schedule for hosted sprints. Lots of fun with all kinds of writers
Liz Talley recently posted..The Nerd Who Loved Me
Jan 16, 2013 @ 10:23:34
No. one you could never look like a marsmmellow if you tried, and what everyone else said, so glad you didn’t quit. If it wasn’t hard or a challenge everyone would do it, and just the breadth of that post was incredible. Hate to break it to you, Liz, you’re a writer!
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Jan 16, 2013 @ 11:34:13
Well, let’s just say I’m a little marshmallowy. LOL.
Yes, I’m a writer and I’m sure after quitting, I’d be right back at it. But maybe that escape valve is necessary for me. Like a smoker trying to quit who has that one cigarette in her drawer. It’s there as an option but because it is, I won’t use it.
Liz Talley recently posted..The Nerd Who Loved Me
Jan 16, 2013 @ 13:54:49
A book every four months? I’m still trying to process that! Wow!
My husband believing in me conquered my latest slump. Sometimes, if I write something just for fun, remind myself that I love writing, that helps.
I am also glad you didn’t quit–even for a little bit.
Jan 16, 2013 @ 14:20:53
I think you needed a vacation. And yes, I’ve done that too. I took months off at one point. Had decided I was D-O-N-E with writing!
However, IMHO, you had too much pressure on you last year to churn out too many books in short of a time. That would burn out anybody! Take care of yourself! My mom loves your books too much to lose you.
Jan 16, 2013 @ 17:08:58
People just don’t get how draining writing is. And I don’t *just* mean the weariness after a writing marathon, but how much life it sucks out of you. Of COURSE you need a break!
I had a similar time this past fall. I’d spent a year on desperate deadlines on multiple projects, and facing frustrations with the publication process. Once I turned in the last book and went into “wait for them to put another impossible deadline on me” mode, I went on deliberate hiatus for a couple of months before my brain finally started getting excited at the idea of writing.
I don’t know how long you’ve been doing it. This is my 20th year, so I know for damned sure that I can’t quit. But the break is vitally important. Maybe you’ll reach a point where that’s all you’ll need—you know, when you get through these books, maybe you can set things up so you can build in breaks every X number of books so you don’t have to go to either extreme.
I really needed your advice on supportive friends. I’ve been floundering this month, some with workload, some with ennui and fatigue, but not getting half as much writing done as I need to. It’s not like I didn’t know the value of a group—I set one up exactly for this reason, 6 1/2 year ago! But we’ve kind of fallen quiet lately, and I guess I thought I shouldn’t need the buttkicking anymore. So I’m going to go light a fire under us.
THANK YOU!
And good luck!
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Jan 16, 2013 @ 17:26:31
I’ve come to the realization that, contracts or no, people write at different speeds. I finished a 25,000 word book in February, a 98,000 in June, 45,000 in August, and another 98,000 in December. Was it doable? Yes. Did I feel like I was burned out more than a bit? Heck, yeah. Even as a friend of mine churns out category length novels in less than 3 weeks with great glee and ease. Just because our publishers want lots of books quickly from us, doesn’t mean delivering is always in our best interest. I know I’ve learned from this past year that I will probably be much happier sticking to 3 books a year, instead of 4. It was a way to find my limits, so that next time I sign a multi-book contract, I’ll know. I think you just went through the same thing. The joy is still there.
Jan 16, 2013 @ 18:58:04
uh, ick. I hate January. it’s so gray and cloudy. I think I get winter blues from not enough sunshine.
this is just a great post. end of summer to beginning of fall I had (did not plan it,) 3 (4?) books all needing editing at nearly the same time. I got to write NOTHING new. I hated it. pretty much hated my writing/computer life. That’s about the time the movie stuff came up. that lasted 2wks and gave me a serious, much needed break.
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Jan 16, 2013 @ 20:03:23
You’re such a great writer, Liz. And you make it look effortless. When I first became a member of the SuperRomance team, you were the one I always turned to for answers.
Suffice it to say, I’m glad you didn’t quit.
(((hugs)))