June 27, 2015
Ok who sang the title? Huh? Come on you know you did!! (dated yourself didn’t you?!) So today I want to talk about friendships. We all have them. Some of us have several people we consider good friends, if not best friends, while others of us have only a couple we would say are close. I am probably more on the less is more side of that spectrum. I always have been.
When I was a kid I had one best friend who I loved dearly. We were best friends from about kindergarten all the way through junior high. We both loved horses and played together whenever we got the chance. I spend many a night at her house, because in the mornings we could go out and ride her ponies all day long. It was heaven for me!!
In junior high, however, things began to change. She began playing sports and made new friends and I wasn’t mature enough to handle it. We had a huge fight and because I was jealous I walked away. I made new friends then but it just wasn’t the same.
As an adult I have made friends with both coworkers and others that came into my life through other people or groups I belonged to. I can honestly say that the people I have met as an adult have remained my friends over the years. I may not have a lot of friends but the ones I do have stick.
I have one friend who is sort of difficult. She has no family of her own and has become excessively clingy lately. I try to talk to her every day but it doesn’t always happen. She hasn’t been able to work so she is stuck at home and that makes it even more difficult because she is bored out of her mind. Today she called and we were chatting and then my grand-daughter got into something she shouldn’t have and I had to deal with her and my friend hung up the phone. I just thought we had been disconnected–her phone service is iffy–so I didn’t think much of it until I got a mile long text from her.
She complained that I didn’t spend time with her and that my family was more important than she was and she was just done.
Seriously? I am still not sure how to respond to that. I realize she has no family so we have sort of adopted her into ours but she doesn’t seem to get that I have responsibilities here first. yes I came out and stayed with her for almost 2 months while her nephew was on the loose but now that he has moved on to another state she is safe and I need to be at home. I have a lot of things here I need to take care of. How is that being selfish and how does she not understand that yes, family DOES come first? And then the lovely remark “well I know that I’m not family” really irritated me. We have treated her as a beloved aunt for a long time now. She is invited to holidays with us. We spend time with her. I go with her to visit her elderly relatives in the Bay Area. She has so many insecurities that I have often thought I would be better off just cutting ties with her, but I do love her. I feel sorry for her but she is very demanding lately and I just don’t have the time for it.
So I will let her stew for a day or two then I will call her and talk this out like I always do. The friendship is important to me so I will do what I must to appease her and we will move on until the next crisis.
Friendships. Are they worth the trouble? Do you have friends you have had forever? Or how about a new one? I have one friend from high school I can call right now and talk to her and it will be like no time has passed since we last chatted. Our friendship is easy and I love her very much. Then there is this one that I have to work at to maintain. How do you keep your friendships alive? What makes a friend a friend and do you have a lot or only a few? How do you deal with the drama? Or am I the only one with drama?!
Ok. I gotta go make dinner for the grand kids. I have all three grand daughters here this weekend. I finally bought them a wading pool so they can play outside and get out of Nanny’s hair for a while! Of course now I have three wet little girls traipsing in and out of the house… Well it seemed like a good idea at the time! Have a great day!