Parkinson’s Law of Christmas Tree

Parkinson’s “law” states that work expands to fit the time available to do it.

I find this applies not only to time, but to space as well. For example, when we moved into this house on its three-acre lot a few years ago, there were only a couple pine trees. Now, courtesy of a conservation department program, a tree-hugging, hole-digging husband (with sore shoulders) and Mother Nature, we are surrounded by a couple hundred behemoths.

The house that came on this lot has a two story foyer. When we first moved here with our toddler sons, I spent sleepless nights hovering in the dark to make sure nobody took a tumble over the banister on his way to pee on the floor next to the hallway bathroom toilet. The boys grew past a point where I need to worry about them falling (though they still can’t seem to find that bleepin’ toilet bowl.)

But into each foyer, a tree must go. The old seven-footers that were perfectly respectable and sucked up 1/3 of our former living rooms looked sad and Charlie Brownish in the foyer. So we cut down one of our own 10-footers. And the next year, it was an 11 footer. Last year’s tree got tangled in the light fixture of the 2nd story ceiling. And as for having enough ornaments…well. We’ve taken to clipping Christmas cards to the branches to make it look less than pathetic.

This year’s tree hasn’t made it in the door yet. Frankly, I’m not sure it will.
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Husband thinks he hurt his back trying to drag it across our yard. Yesterday he tied it to the back of my Momvan and pulled it to its current location. He says he’s waiting for it to thaw/drain, so that it will be a light enough to get through the front door. It must be narrower than three feet in diameter in order to make it in the house.

We’ll see. If you send me a Christmas card this year, it will probably end up on the garland next to the bird feeder.