Pants Off Policy Now in Effect

First we had two weeks of unseasonably warm weather that completely thawed the ground. Now we’ve had three days of wet spring snow. The combination adds up to slurping around the barns and lots all day in foot deep mud. And by mud, I mean a particularly aromatic combination of cow manure, slush and our signature, slick-as-snot clay.


In addition, we have been spending copious amounts of time shoving wobbly newborn calves around, trying to persuade them to hang out in the driest spots possible. This requires either slogging along bent at the waist pushing on their butt and developing a permanent ‘rancher’s hunch’, or bumping them forward with your thighs. Either method exposes you to their waste disposal region and baby calf poop is the bright yellow, nuclear-powered, sticky-as-tar version of manure. In other words, it reeks. Smear this on top of the usual muck and we’re darned lucky to get even a week out of a pair of chore pants between washings. And you do not want to be trapped in a warm, confined space with the outermost layer of your chore clothes.

This is why we drive around in the ranch pickup with the windows rolled down and the heater blasting. For anyone stopping by for a visit, we have also instituted a ‘shuck your pants at the door’ policy.

muddy pants

We generally prefer that you have long underwear on beneath said pants, but heck, we’re flexible, and always in need of entertainment.


TLRH quote 5

Now available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo and Samhain Publishing . For more fun on the ranch, subscribe to Rock Soup for the Cowboy Soul.