May 17, 2016
Recently, both my nephew and niece announced their engagements –congratulations Ian and Rachel!! And Linda and Doug!! – and I started thinking about what advice I’d give to a young couple.
I think the first would be – take time to figure out your language of love. What has to happen to make you feel loved? It may come as a surprise to learn that your love language is different from your partner’s. Do you need a celebration every anniversary, hidden love notes tucked away in unexpected places, a thoughtful gesture? If you’re used to showing love by doing – taking care of your loved one by making tasty meals, tending to them when they’re ill, keeping house – is that what they need? Or maybe you want their time – to sit and talk, share your dreams, walk side-by-side through successes and failures. Whatever it may be, don’t assume your love language is the same as your partner’s. And if you don’t know what your language is, how will they know?
The second piece of advice would be to talk about the big things. Do you want children? Do you expect to stay home and raise them? What’s your faith? How will you teach your kids about faith? How will you handle finances as a couple? Do you believe in spending or saving? Some of this is mundane stuff – until you disagree. Start the conversation early.
Lastly, I would say communicate. How you communicate may change as you grow, but communicate you must. If you find your conversations going around in circles, or if you start to feel like you’re not being heard, get some help. Not the complaining-to-your-friends kind of help. You want the professional let’s-learn-new-strategies help. Don’t wait. Time rarely heals this problem on its own.
Congratulations to all the newly engaged couples out there! It’s an exciting time. Living together, starting a life with your soul mate, is the best thing ever. Because you know, everyone needs a little romance! Keep talking and carry on!
I’d like to hear from you – what advice would you give to a newly engaged couple? What’s the best advice you received?
Linda O’Connor started writing a few years ago when she needed a creative outlet other than subtly rearranging the displays at HomeSense. It turns out she loves writing romantic comedies and has a few more stories to tell. When not writing, she’s a physician at an Urgent Care Clinic (well, even when she is writing she’s a physician, and it shows up in her stories :D). She hangs out at www.lindaoconnor.net.
Laugh every day. Love every minute.
When Mikaela Finn agreed to be Sam’s ‘fiancée’ for a weekend, she probably should have told him that she’s a doctor. Sam O’Brien, aka ‘Dr. Eye Candy’, is trying to shed his playboy reputation and convince a small town hospital that he’s ready to settle down. But when his ‘fiancée’ helps deliver a baby in the middle of the meet and greet, it’s a bit of a shock. If he’d known the whole truth, he might have done things a little differently because somehow his ‘fiancée’ ends up stealing his job and his heart. Not exactly the change he wanted.
Lies and deceit – it’s a match made in heaven!