It’s My Friday and I’ll Dither If I Want To

“What’s on your mind?” WordPress asks, as I begin to type into this here tiny box.

“Formatting. Formatting is on my mind,” I tell WordPress, wondering if, after I hit “schedule” for this post, it will come up on my screen as one long run-in sentence that I’ll have to go back in to fix.

Egg McMuffins are on my mind, too. I make a homemade version, which my kids love (and are, therefore, one of the three things that I make that they will actually eat). I’m on breakfast duty this morning, and I’m wondering as I sit here whether I’ve thawed the Canadian bacon.

Canadian bacon is on my mind. Is this REALLY what they call “bacon” in Canada? Because I think it’s just skinny smoked-ham slices and not really bacon at all, except in the larger sense of “product from a pig.”

“Saving my bacon” is now on my mind. To save one’s bacon is like saving one’s hide, and is an uncomfortable reminder of the similarities between pigs and humans.

Mythbusters is on my mind now because my husband binge-watched the Mythbusters pirate episodes, one of which had them shooting cannonballs through four pig carcasses after (gleefully) explaining the similarities between pigs and humans.

Cannibalism is on my mind now because we are, after all, “long pork” and because I have sons between the ages of 9 and 17, which, I believe, is the developmental phase of cannibalism fascination. Some people never outgrow it, which is why Hannibal Lecter is a thing.

Mads Mikkelsen is on my mind now. He is SO hawt. Or at least he used to be, before the cannibalism.

You know who else is hawt? Alexander Skarsgard.

Now Alexander Skarsgard is on my mind.

Thank you for letting me work through this and get it off my chest.

Alexander Skarsgard’s chest is now on my mind.