Hot Stuff

 

Lookin’ for some hot stuff, baby this evening,I need some hot stuff, baby tonight . . .Donna Summer

fire

True confession: I have trouble writing the hot stuff. I so admire romance authors who write these scenes with eloquence . . . page after page filled with beautiful, lust-filled prose, depicting the moment when the main characters finally get together. Isn’t this precisely what the reader has been waiting for with breathless anticipation? Kudos to you.

Here’s my problem: I start writing that particular scene and I get a little tickle. No, not down there. In my funny bone. I can’t seem to write the hot stuff without adding a touch of humor. Let’s face it, sex can be funny. Case in point. Many years ago, I decided the marital bedroom needed a touch of color and set a bouquet of daffodils on the headboard. Are you familiar with the term headboard banging? Nothing spoils the moment like ice-cold water and daffodils cascading onto one’s head (it was me). A teachable moment, but still, we had to laugh.

daffodils

In my first romantic suspense published in 2009, The Rock and Roll Queen of Bedlam, I amused myself by depicting the main characters, Allegra and Sloan, having sex in unusual places, like a galloping gurney in the basement of an assisted living facility and in the business end of a hearse (fortunately coffin-free).

I recently spent an entire day writing a love scene (only two pages) in Allegiance, Book Two in the Soul Seeker series. My protagonist, Melanie Sullivan (Mel) has a new boyfriend—her boyfriend from the first book cheated on her—and I figured it was about time they got together since I’m 2/3 done with the book. Much gnashing of teeth while trying to figure out a fresh, new way to describe an act as old as time. I tried I really did. Suffice it say, there’s a cat named Thunder Paws on the premises and Mel can’t do it if the cat’s watching. She also realizes she has coffee breath and dashes off to brush her teeth. So much for spontaneity.

Fellow writers, do you struggle when writing hot stuff? Fellow readers, do you have favorite authors who, unlike me, take the subject seriously and write it with grace and style? Or, is it even important to you?