Here We Go Again…

It’s Saturday already? Where on earth did the rest of the week go?! As usual, I am sitting here for a few precious moments before I have to get dressed and head to work. This work obsession has gotten so bad that I fell guilty if I even consider taking two days off in a row, even if they are MY DAYS to take off! But then I look at my pile of bills on the kitchen counter and my mind starts to calculate how much I owe and how much I can make working these extra hours and the money always wins out…

Because I am so financially challenged all the time lately, I made a decision that I may or may not regret. I was in my operations manager’s office on Wednesday and my general manager poked his head in to tell him something. My OM and I are good friends–we have known each other since I started working there almost 18 years ago and we always enjoyed talking with each other back then. Now that he is a manager I find myself in his office  a few times a month after I get off work and we just shoot the breeze for a while before I head home.

Anyway. My GM made some wise crack about me being there and I replied that if we were the same level I would have something smart ass to say back but since we weren’t I couldn’t say it. Now you have to understand that my GM is a pretty great guy. I respect him greatly–he is a very different boss than I have ever worked for before and I truly like the man–but I won’t cross certain lines with him. My boss before him I could have said anything to–we are still good friends despite the fact she has moved to Idaho and I don’t get to see her often. When she comes to town we make a point of getting together for a bit and catching up on life. (She even has a pup from my last litter!) Suffice it to say this boss and I get along well but we aren’t “friends” in that way.

He surprised me when I said what I said by stating the fact that since I have applied for managerial positions in the company we are therefore on the same level. I scoffed at that and replied that applying and being accepted are two different things and I was pretty much done with the entire process. He then proceeded to ask me if I had talked with our former safety manager, who is now the GM at another division in the Bay Area, and hinted that the safety position at that division was open and that maybe I should give him a call if I was still interested in commuting.  But that I didn’t hear it from him…

Apparently my bosses are all in cahoots with each other because when I did make that call I was informed that my name had been mentioned in conjunction with the position and I think they were just waiting to see if I would apply. When I interviewed for the safety manager position last fall at another division the man who I interviewed with turned out to not only be the GM of that division but also basically the regional manager for our area. Politics being what they are he couldn’t offer me the job–it had been promised to someone else by someone higher than himself–but he was very impressed with me and promised that he would remember me in the future. I called a friend who recently became a safety manager for a mid-size operation and asked what she thought and she said I should apply. So God help me I did.

And now I wait and I worry and I wonder. This is such a big step for me. If this happens I will give up the life I know and have been living for almost 20 years. Things will change drastically and I have to be prepared for it. The position I am seeking is in East Palo Alto at Stanford University. the client is not an easy one to work for and I know this because this was the division my OM came from when he moved to our Modesto branch. It will be challenging and I will be expected to learn a LOT of stuff on the fly. I think I can do it but of course I am terrified that I can’t! I want this job but then again I think about how things are now and wonder why on earth I am willing to upset the apple cart at this late stage in the game!

A lot of it comes down to money. The job pays significantly more than what I am currently making as a driver. This increase in pay will be offset by the cost of commuting, however, so I have to way the pros and cons carefully. It is also a step in the direction I have been trying to go for over ten years now. If I get this position I will be in management and if an opening occurs somewhere that I really want to be I can apply for it much easier than I can now. The person with whom I would be working is an amazing trainer and one of the best the company has. Having the opportunity to learn from him will give me an advantage over anyone else that may apply for the same job within the company later down the road.

So all these hours I am putting in at work may just be a great preparation for me to be able to deal with the long hours I will be working if I get this position. The most difficult thing for me though is the fact that I won’t be home much and I am going to miss my little dogs. Is that crazy?! I am already trying to figure out if I can take them with me so that I have company on my 2-3 hour commute each way! I may do that–look for a doggy day care in the area and drop them off each day so I can have them with me  as much as possible…

One of the things I will have to figure out is transportation. I’m pretty sure that with the price of gas in California continuing to hover in the $3.00 a gallon plus range I won’t be trying to drive my Yukon XL over the hill every day! That’s going to suck because my only other option is our Santa Fe, which is a great little truck but has no A/C and it needs a new stereo and speakers. And its ugly. But it gets better gas mileage than the Beast so I will have to deal with that for now.

So here we go again. I’m not telling anyone at work that I applied for this job. I told my family and my best friend and that’s it. Oh, well, and whomever decides to read this blog I guess! But no reason to get everyone else in an uproar if nothing comes of it, right?!

In other news: the new rescue doggy is doing well. He has become just a little love and wants nothing more to be in a lap getting belly rubs! The groomer comes out on Thursday to wash/flea dip a few of the dogs and I am adding him to the list. I hope he does well but she is experienced with dogs that nip so he should be fine. Can’t wait to see how cute he is all cleaned up!

My hubby told me about a wee Chihuahua out on his regular bus route that he is afraid has been abandoned and is starving to death. I went and looked for it last night but I couldn’t find it so today on my break I will be going over to that neighborhood and looking again. I’m worried because Chihuahuas can’t handle being hungry and he could die very easily. Here’s to hoping I can find him in time.

I’m also finally selling the Tennessee Walker horse that I got for my youngest daughter but that we haven’t ridden or used since she came to us. I have had three inquiries so far and I am hopeful I can find her a new home this week since I have to move the horses from the ranch to another ranch down the street. The drama in my life continues to unfold. My girlfriend’s nephew has wormed his way back into her life and property and is now threatening to steal everything from her should she kick him out. He has physically abused her before but she is so desperate to have real family she thought she would give him a chance since he said he was not doing drugs any more. Not sure if that is true but she can’t afford to take care of him and he’s just being the irresponsible jerk he has always been and now she is afraid to be in her own home. I told her to call the cops but the truth is she is embarrassed to do so and so she just cries and stays in her room. This makes me freaking crazy but there is nothing I can do about it until she is willing to step up and take the steps necessary to evict him–again.

I see by the time that I need to get up and moving or I will be late for work. the schedule I have today is easy but it’s also all day. Here’s to hoping that everyone here gets some things done so I can have a great day off tomorrow! Have a great weekend!