May 16, 2015
I want to go home. I have been living out at the ranch for over a month now and the novelty has worn off. Yes, I love the solitude and the fact that no one bothers me in the evenings. I can sit down and play games on my phone or watch TV or just go to bed and there isn’t anyone needing me to do laundry for them or make dinner or feed the dogs. It’s just me and what I need to accomplish for myself to be able to go to work the next day or whatever. That I like.
But I miss spending time with my husband that doesn’t include a cell phone. I miss talking to my daughters face-to-face and knowing what is going on in their lives and what their schedules are and how I fit into them this week. I miss my big dog and my birds chirping in the other room while I write or play on my computer. I miss having my computer at my fingertips. I miss cooking for my family. I miss home.
I was hoping to move back this past week. We have decided that the law in our county has not placed a very high priority on catching the nephew and are probably hoping he will just move on out-of-town and they won’t have to bother with him any more. If this is true I can’t just keep staying at the ranch indefinitely on the off-chance that he is going to show up. I need to get back to my life at home. My friend hasn’t said it but I know she doesn’t want me to go. She is lonely living in that big house by herself and even if we don’t hang out a lot at least she knows I am there. It is a comfort to her and I am afraid she will get even more depressed when I leave. But I want to go home.
Tonight I will probably take my oldest grand-daughter out to the ranch with me. The younger one is going to spend the weekend at her mom’s house but both of my daughters have plans for this evening and my son has to go to work and his daughter is here for the weekend. She loves to spend time at the ranch and since I took the younger one last weekend it only seems fair that I take her this weekend. I thought about just staying here but all my stuff is at the ranch plus two of my dogs and they will have to spend the night in kennels if I’m not there.
This time away from home has been good practice for a possible change in our life style. My husband has been working with his dad on some real estate deals. One of them involves some property with a house and several rentals on it. If it goes through my husband will be moving up to the property, which is about 5 hours away, and will be going into business with his dad full-time. I will stay here and hopefully I will finally get an opportunity to go into management since my husband and I will no longer be working in the same division. I will just go up and visit on weekends or he will come down to see us. I’m not sure what we will do with the house. He is looking at properties in our area also that he can maybe move the kids to and then we can just rent this house out and I will go live at the ranch full-time and help her with the bills there. It would be a good solution for everyone but not sure if it will happen or not. It will be a huge change for everyone involved, especially my oldest daughter, who is glued to me. I am hoping it will be the catalyst to get her out on her own and shove her into adulthood once and for all!
Until then I will continue to stay at the ranch, visit the kids, and dream of finally going home. It can’t come too soon for me!