September 11, 2015
Experts say when a couple marries, they should listen to what the other says, consider the viewpoints and work together to avoid conflict in the relationship. Doesn’t that sound like practical, sound advice?
I think so. But where are those experts 32 years later, when the couple has done all that and the hearing starts to go. My husband and I have the most absurd conversations because he’s not HEARING what I’m saying. (What’s more his interpretation of what he thinks I say is downright bizarre.)
Case in point. This morning a dear friend called who’s been ill. He’s had to cancel a hunting trip with my spouse, and it’s concerning. Now, my husband can only do one thing at a time—it’s part of that engineer brain of his. He’s so intent on that phone call that even though I’m standing right there, I might as well have left the planet.
“Do you need anything,” my husband asks, and continues to listen to his friend.
I wave my arms like a TSA flagman because I know he cannot see me – he’s focused on only one thing –his friend. I get my husband’s grudging attention, and say, “Ask him if he needs any meals?”
My husband frowns and looks at me as though I’ve sprouted antlers, and proceeds to end the phone call. After he hangs up, he shakes his head. “Why would he need any milk?”
I cross my arms. “Meals,” I said. “MEALS.”
Oh,” the DH replies. “Good idea. I’ll call him back. While I’m at it I’ll ask him if he needs any milk.”