November 9, 2012
In August, my husband of 30 years surprised me. He’s this Type A, Rock of Gibraltar personality who’d been at the same job for 25 years. He’d been talking retirement and I’d been slightly panicking. Having a husband home all the time would take some getting used to.
He talked about April 2013, and that gave me some time to prepare. In my heart of hearts, I didn’t think he’d actually do it. Although he’s been at the same job for many years, we’re still relatively young and this economy had us both worried.
But the main reason I didn’t want him home all the time was a selfish one. I’m a writer. During daylight hours, the house is mine.
Most writers don’t sit in a chair, where inspiration flows into their fingertips. When I want to brainstorm, or I get stuck, I jump up from the chair, pick up the phone, and call someone like blog partner Cynthia D’Alba. I literally take up the first floor of my house to do this. I walk out of my office, into the den, walk through the kitchen, into the living room then traverse that same area again and again until I get a plot point figured out.
That’s such a freeing process for me. And that process didn’t include walking out of my office, to find a man on the couch with the television blaring, wondering, what in the heck is she doing?
Even so, I had plenty of time to prepare, right? He’d said April 2013. My budget-minded husband studied his Excel spreadsheets with a specific dollar amount in mind and he was like the proverbial racehorse winding down for the homestretch.
Wrong. I forgot to calculate into all his preparedness the amount of stress he was under. In August, when I was at RWA National, he out-and-out quit his job. The stress he’d just released fell onto my shoulders in a big, thick thud!
There’s a happily ever after to this story—he’s well-respected at work and his bosses wouldn’t accept his resignation. They offered him a sabbatical and a new position when he returns in January. It’s also given us a chance to layout some guidelines for when both of us are home full time. I explained my crazy little writing process and he laughed. The last place he planned to be after 25 years was sitting on a couch and watching TV.
He obviously meant it. So far, he’s gone to Arizona to hike the Grand Canyon, climbed Pikes Peak, he went elk hunting with buddies; every morning he gets up and either runs or bicycles for a good part of the day.
In a week, after hiring a house sitter, we’re heading to Fort Worth to see our son and his new wife, and then to Las Cruces for a couple of weeks.
I think I might actually be sad when he has to go back to work in January. I’m blessed I guess to have a man who appreciates that I take up a lot of room as a writer 😉 And I admit it’s been rather fun having him home as he’s not underfoot all the time. Guess along with everybody needing a little romance—everybody now and then needs a transition.
What do you think? Ever reached a point where you’ve said enough is enough?
Happy Friday, all.