February 14, 2015
I had my blog all written in my head until I got up this morning and realized I was the one who got to post on Valentine’s Day. On a romance blog. Seriously? Um, no pressure at all. Really!
As I read through the previous posts I have to question my worthiness to even be here. I post NOTHING about romance. I haven’t read a new book in months. I haven’t worked on my own books in probably that long also. Instead I tell you about my life as a bus driver. About the crazy family of dogs and people and other critters that share my life. I talk about everything under the sun EXCEPT romance. So of course now I have to sit back and analyze that and share it with you. Because that is what I do best–take random thought processes and pull them together into a cohesive essay and share it with the world.
Romance. As the name of our blog state, everybody needs a little bit of romance in their lives. Truth is, how much romance do we really ever get? For some of us, the closest we will ever come to true romance will be what we read in the pages of a book. Romance, such as it is, means different things to different people. Your standard for a romantic gesture may be way different from mine. What one person sees as romantic won’t even tip the scales for another. Why is that?
I think we talk about all those types of romance in the books we write. Many of us here favor cowboy stories (and really, who could blame us right?!) and cowboys have long had a reputation for being taciturn and undemonstrative in their show of affection for their beloved. They often show their love in the things they do, not the words they say.
Truth is I think most men are like romance-novel cowboys. Real emotions are awkward for them and they don’t know how to express themselves. Valentine’s Day gives them an opportunity to say it with flowers, jewelry, and or candy and most figure that if they do it big enough on one day of the year it gives them a free ride for the other 364 days! Unfortunately the commercialism of the holiday has made it a much bigger deal than it should be and I have seen hearts broken because some poor guy forgot to get his sweetheart a stuffed bear and flowers for this made-up holiday and now she has to question his love for her.
Oh please! Spare me the drama already! If he really loves you it shouldn’t be about candy and flowers and jewelry! I mean, don’t get me wrong, those things are nice, but true love and romance aren’t about things and who’s lover got them the biggest ring or box of chocolates. It’s about every day life and how he treats you when things get routine. It’s what he does to make you feel special just because. Or it’s what YOU do to make him realize he is the love of your life and how your life is better because he’s in it. THAT, my friend, is where romance comes into play.
So my question to you today is this: How does romance come into play in your life? What do you do to make a little love every day? I will start with the fact that my guy is probably one of the least overtly romantic men you will ever meet. one of my girls’ favorite stories is his non-proposal of marriage. We had been living together for about a year and a half and were offered a job with some friends of his to be group home parents. The only catch was that they insisted that we be married. I remember sitting in our room that night discussing the the pros and cons of the job and of course the stipulation of marriage attached to the offer. We decided to go for it and I asked him “So that means we are getting married? ” His response, oh the romantic sweet-talking man that he is? “Yeah, I guess so…” His enthusiasm was underwhelming, to say the least! At the end of this month we will be celebrating 27 years of wedded something–bliss would be so not what I would call it!–so I guess its not in the way you say it, its how you live it that counts. He does stuff for me all the time that tells me he cares without saying the words.
So how is romance alive and well in your life? Who is the romantic in your relationship? What is the most romantic gesture you have ever made, or had made, for your love? Share!