If you are reading this blog, be aware that I am in North Carolina at The Writers Police Academy. I’ve been so looking forward to getting together with my bud, Jean Willett, Sisters in Crime and KOD members Linda Lovely, Robin Weaver, Polly Iyer and Ellis Vidler to name a few. And of course to observe and learn about the myriad things Lee Lofland and his esteemed associates have to teach us in this yearly conference.
But…I am rather worried because I’ve left the DH at home… by himself.
Friends, I’ve never left my husband for eight days before in our 30-year marriage.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Donnell, he’s a big boy. He’ll be fine without you.
Yes, I know he’ll be fine. But will my house? Les doesn’t know how to turn off a light, or close a window or a garage door. Luckily, I have a security firm that patrols the neighborhood, and my daughter will drop by to babysit. What I’m really, really worried about is that he’ll get the mail. (And, no, I’m not hiding any bills from my spouse.)
My husband has been known to throw away his expense check, or some other letter of importance. And this week (while I’m gone), my royalty check should be coming. Okay, you say, warn him—Trust me, I have. But you see, the last time my royalty check came in, I was out of town, and he proudly told me , “Hey, I’ve got your royalty check here.”
“Yay,” I said. “Now step away from it and leave it on the coffee table where I can find it and no one will get hurt.”
Do you think he did that? I’ll give you one guess. No, he hung up, returned to the book he was reading and used the check as a bookmark. Then , he did something he never does in his life. He put the book away, back in the shelf!!! (with said royalty check inside).
When I got home, I asked, “Where is it?” and his gaze fell to the stack of mail he’d saved for me, and he returned a blank look. I searched the trash cans, every drawer in the house. I almost had to call Debra Dixon of Bell Bridge Books and sheepishly say, I need you to put a stop payment on my royalty check because I’ve …er lost it. Luckily, at the last moment before I placed the call, the DH had a light bulb moment. He walked toward the bookshelf and said, “I wonder if it might be in here.”
Thirty years, folks, and he’s still breathing.
It’s always an adventure when I travel… to the place I’m visiting, and of course at home. Have a great weekend!