January 18, 2013
Lemme out, Lemme out—gotta go!
It’s cold out here. Lemme in, please, please, please?
Oh! A squirrel. Gonna get you. Lemme out!
Damn. It’s cold out here. Come on. Let me in, wontcha?
But I like this sofa. It’s so cozy.
Okay, fine. I guess I’ll get down. But only because you asked nicely.
Omigawd, omigawd—yes. Right there, between my ear!
UPS MAN! UPSMANUPSMANUPSMA—ouch. Whadja do that for?
Oh, Mommy. You smell like you. Just let me dig my nose in—what? It’s not gross. It’s love!
Squir-REL! Lemme out now! Now, I say!
The boys the boys the boys. Here’s a ball. Anybody want a ball?
Fine. See if I care. It’s my ball. I’ll curl up right here and chew it, and to heck with all of you.
What’s that—in the distance? Wait! I’m scenting…deer! Go-go-go-go-go—owie! Damn electric fence.
DADDY. Best thing evar! DADDY DADDY—oh yes, that’s my belly. Here you go. Oh-oh-oh-yes. Rub it again. Rub it again—hey, where you going?
Please, please please may I have some steak?
What steak? I didn’t see nothing. Didn’t hear nothing. Didn’t take it, I swear.
But I don’t wanna go out. It’s cold and dark and—neighbor’s car! Off my land you damn car!
I can come in now? Really? I can?
I know it’s your bed, but…oh, oh yes! Right there. Right between the ears.