It Had To Be Destiny
March 15th–the Ides of March–Dick and I will celebrate our 27th anniversary. Yay for us! It’s a second marriage for both of us, and I like to think that, this time around, we both knew exactly what we wanted. He’s my best friend, my favorite person to be around, and he makes me laugh. And yeah, sometimes he drives me crazy. In our small town, he catches some flack about being married to a romance writer. He loves it , and I tell him I’m making him a legend in his own time.
But like so many others, our how-we-met story is … different.
I’d been a school teacher, but quit my job when my daughter was born. After my first husband and I divorced, I went back to school for a Masters in Counseling. After grauduation, I took a job as an out-patient therapist for an alcohol/drug abuse ageny that took me to Anna, Illinois one day a week. One of the others counselors and I got to be friends, and we played golf in Anna every Wednesday after work. One week, Dick was in the foursome behind us. He and my golfing partner were neighbors, and that night after I left, he asked her to introduce us. The next week, our golf game was a foursome; her boyfriend and Dick joined us. And the rest is history.
Not exactly.
When we met, I was living in Kentucky, he in Illinois, and our towns were a 90-minute drive apart. I had a four-year-old daughter and a cat. He had an eight-year-old son and a thirteen-year-old daughter. Cats weren’t his favorite animal, and he was far from being my cat’s favorite person.
Two weeks after I started the out-patient therapist job, I was offered the Guidance Counselors’ position at an area high school. Schools were what I knew, were where I was most comfortable. But I turned the job down. At the time, I wasn’t sure why I was turning it down. I just felt that I needed to stay with the new job I’d just started.
That was two months before Dick and I met.
But it still isn’t the most interesting part of my story.
That night after we played golf, Dick asked if he could see me again. I’d had a great time with him, so I said, “Sure.” I drove the 90-minutes back home, and my phone was ringing when I walked in. It was Dick, and he was wanting to tell me that he hadn’t been “completely honest” with me.
Now you can imagine the things that were going through my mind, but I wasn’t quite prepared for what he actually confessed.
The woman who hired me–the Executive Director of the agency I worked for–my BOSS–was his ex-wife. He’d made my golfing friend promise not to tell me until we’d had the date because he thought it would cause me to back out. And it might have if I’d known up-front. But I didn’t, and I’d found him to be handsome, and witty and a delight to be with.
Twenty-seven years later, he’s still all that. And more.
I hate to leave you at that because the story continues, but this post is getting long. Suffice it to say that his ex and I get along fabulously well, my step-kids have got to be the best in the world, and he’s been a true Dad to my daughter. Our family has been blessed with much love.
But nothing will ever convince me that it happened by chance. Only one job in the world could have taken me to the tiny town of Anna, Illinois. And ten-minutes either way would have put his foursome either in front of me or farther behind.
It had to be destiny.
Do you have a destiny story? Please share!
Mar 11, 2013 @ 06:21:52
Oh Pam, that’s beautiful! I do have a destiny story with my husband (although if you read my ‘how we met’ post, you know our first date wasn’t as good as yours!)
I’d divorced, and was living in the same apartment my ex and I had shared. I had my own business and was working 18 hours a day – not much time for dating. But a guy in a volunteer org. I belonged to was interested…and he was wrong for me. I knew it, and knew that I’d be sorry if I gave in to the temptation to date him. New Year’s Eve, I was woken by I don’t know what, at midnight. I heard a voice int my head. It said, “Wait.” No, I don’t usually hear voices, so I listened. I knew somehow, that if I stayed unattached, something was waiting…
In May, I was walking to my car. I passed a tall, dark haired, good looking guy on the sidewalk who gave me a shy, little-boy smile, and I knew that somehow, this man would change my life.
He sure did. Within a year we were married – and I became an instant mom to his son and daughter, the joys of my life.
So yes, I believe in destiny too!
Mar 11, 2013 @ 06:38:19
Aw, that’s awesome, Laura.
Mar 11, 2013 @ 08:29:58
Love the voice in your head, Laura! Authors hear lots of voices, I think. We learn who to listen to and who to ignore
I remember well your how-we-met story. Yep, defnitely destiny!
Mar 11, 2013 @ 06:37:14
I love this, Pam. I always want to know how people met, and your story is so sweet. It’s scary if you think about how many big and little decisions went into leading you to a particular place/time for the magic to happen.
For me it was a chance conversation with a retired Navy Seabee at the temp job I had right after I moved to AZ that convinced me to give ROTC a try. But even the things that lead me to leave CA in the first place can be traced all the way back to where my parents decided to live during my senior year. It gets mind-boggling in a hurry.
So glad you found your HEA! Thanks for sharing.
Gwen Hernandez recently posted..Why Disney kills off the parents
Mar 11, 2013 @ 08:32:10
Exactly, Gwen! The little things are what make it so mind-boggling! One little move in a different direction and everything could have turned out differently. Gotta be a bigger hand than mine guiding things:-)
Mar 11, 2013 @ 07:57:28
What a great story, Pamela! I do believe in destiny, although I’m a little miffed that destiny chose Arkansas for me. I would have picked a tropical island or the Scottish Highlands given a choice in the matter. Happy anniversary to you both and much love and joy in the years to come!
Margaret Ethridge recently posted..Monday Mayhem – Smoke & Mirrors Edition
Mar 11, 2013 @ 08:33:42
Thanks, Margaret! And who knows? Maybe Scotland or some tropical island is still on your map–just sometime in the futre;-)
Mar 11, 2013 @ 09:29:43
Happy anniversary. I’ll raise a slice of pizza to the two of you that night, since I have a child who was born that day.
Keri Stevens recently posted..Keri Not Keri
Mar 11, 2013 @ 13:40:36
Actually, pizza sounds like a great anniversary meal, Keri. Maybe with some champagne:-) Cheers to long, happy marriages and precious children!
Mar 11, 2013 @ 15:21:52
I loved your story, Pamela! Happy Anniversary! I feel like I’ve told my how-we-meet story until you guys are tired of it. LOL But I guess I’ll never be.
It’s almost scary when you think of all the ways you might not of met. I almost didn’t enroll my child in soccer. He almost didn’t coach. We both almost put our kids in different schools.
I’m so glad you got your HEA… Congratulations again to you both!
Mar 11, 2013 @ 17:36:15
Thanks, Shawna! I think we all revisit our how-we-met-stpries when we get close to our anniversaries. They’re so close to our hearts, I guess:-)
Mar 11, 2013 @ 15:46:09
First, Pam, congratulations on 27 years, and thank you for sharing your beautiful story with us!
I often look at things the other way. It’s obvious what I’d have missed, so I find it interesting to consider what the other choices might have yielded. Not good or bad, just different. Still, no matter what your belief system, it’s really hard to look at things rationally and not believe “things happen for a reason.” My mother said that all. the. time.
I really wanted to go to Syracuse University. I loved it when I visited. But they didn’t give me much financial aid, my mom and stepfather couldn’t help much if at all, and my stepmother worked for Ohio Wesleyan University so I got free tuition. Plus I earned a Presidential scholarship so that covered my room and board. So I had to go. And I met my husband the first week of my freshman year. We celebrated our 20th anniversary last fall.
My mother also always said, in a sentiment inherited from her grandmother, that the right (or next) guy always came along when you weren’t looking for him. I didn’t date my husband immediately, we were just acquaintances. I got involved with another guy and the whole thing was pretty much disaster. I lay in bed one night crying, and thought, “If the guy comes along when you’re not looking, then I’m done with guys. I’m concentrating on my classes and my friends.” And of course, the next day Jim asked me out.
One more!
I got pregnant when I was 23, and 4 days later got laid off from my job. Lost benefits, lost income. The unemployment was enough, but it was going to run out before I had the baby. My husband was very worried, so I got work through a temp agency, and my net pay was less than unemployment had been. I got stuck in a job that wasn’t working, and told the agency to find me something else. They got me a one-day gig with a company, and a few weeks later, their secretary quit. They called me back and offered me a full-time job. I was reluctant, because I wanted to nurse and be home with the baby. They told me I could bring the baby to work! The owner’s daughter had done that very successfully. So I ended up being able to have both of my kids with me at the office until they were about 9 months old, and I had that job for 14 years.
Destiny!
Natalie J. Damschroder recently posted..Sneak Peek Sunday for March 10, with more Soulflight
Mar 11, 2013 @ 17:39:34
Thanks for the additional story, Natalie. It was just as heartwarming! Mush as I hate to admit it, my mother was right–sometimes:-)
Mar 11, 2013 @ 16:09:25
A woman who would date her boss’s ex-husband has either a big set of cajones or is in trew luv.
Happy Anniversary!
Mar 11, 2013 @ 17:40:23
Ha! or maybe both!:-)
Mar 12, 2013 @ 07:29:58
Beautiful story, Pamela. No wonder you became a romance writer. I love the thought of fate and destiny – I often think what if in my own life, but I know the path I’m on is where I’m meant to be. Thanks for sharing the story – what a sweet one
Liz Talley recently posted..The Nerd Who Loved Me
Mar 12, 2013 @ 12:18:49
I love the idea that life is the journey, and I think that all works together. over and over in my novels, I use the theme that everything happens for a reason. I’m a firm believer.