Liz Flaherty Guest Blogs—You Might Want to Get a Tissue
Our winner is Kristina Knight! Congratulations, Kristina, and thank you to everyone who left such heartfelt comments!
Everyone, please welcome Liz Flaherty to ENALR! Her prize winner will be drawn from all comments posted between now and midnight EST on Wednesday, January 23. The winner’s name will be posted here and they will be notified via e-mail.
Thanks so much for having me at Everybody Needs A Little Romance. It’s a busy time, what with the release of a new book, JAR OF DREAMS, and making our first ever move-to-a-warmer-climate-for-winter. Romance, other than the writing and promoting of it, isn’t something I’d given that much thought lately. There was another time, long ago, when I didn’t give it that much consideration, either.
When I was in my late 30s, I had three kids in high school, a full-time job, and a marriage. That was kind of the order of things, too. Marriage shouldn’t take third place behind Everything Else, but it often does. I don’t regret that our kids always came first in those days, and the truth is I loved my job until the day I left it when I retired two years ago. But I’m not a person who believes if you love each other enough, you’ll have a great marriage—I think you have to work at it. Especially when you don’t feel like it. Sometimes during those busy years, we did. Sometimes not.
Anyway, like I started to say, I was in my late 30s when the mammogram showed…something. I got mammograms early because my mom and an aunt had died from breast cancer. I always figured I’d get a positive showing someday, just because cancer’s rampant in my family. But I didn’t think someday would be when I was 38.
Duane took a vacation day on the day of the biopsy—this was before Family Medical Leave existed—and we showed up at the hospital bright and early. I was so scared, and bargaining with God all the way up to the time the anesthesiologist said “night-night.” You know how that goes—“If You’ll just let me get these kids raised, I’ll never ask for anything else. Nevernevernever.”
It’s been a long time since that day, but I can see so much of it so very clearly in the memories I keep close to my heart. I remember hearing John Denver singing, “Some days are diamonds, some days are stones…” I remember the sun shining. I remember Dr. Murphy waking me up and saying, “Benign. It’s benign.”
I remember holding hands with Duane in the car on the way home and turning to him and saying, “Thanks for taking the day off. It seems like a waste of a vacation day.”
And he said, “Oh, no. It’s the best day off I ever had.”
It wasn’t in any way erotic and the earth didn’t move because of Duane’s response, but as romantic moments go, it was a keeper.
I’m giving away cups and saucers to promote JAR OF DREAMS. (Lucy owns a tearoom, Tea on Twilight—it seems appropriate.) The winner will be drawn from the commenters. All you have to do to enter is give us your email address and—just because we’d like to hear it—one of your romantic keeper moments. Good luck and thanks for coming by!
For as long as she can remember, Lucy Dolan has been jotting down her hopes on slips of paper and saving them in a pickle jar–her jar of dreams. It was the first thing she saved when the beloved family diner went up in flames, and it’s safely buckled in her beat-up minivan when she lands in Taft, Indiana, to start over. She rents a room and goes into business with her landlady, but then Gert’s nephew comes charging in to “rescue” his aunt.
Boone Brennan will be damned if he’ll let Lucy take advantage of Aunt Gert, who raised him and his sister. Believing that she’s just passing through, he’s deeply suspicious of her–despite the sparks that fly between them.
Just as Boone and Lucy are starting to open up to each other, a series of fires throws Lucy under suspicion. Boone wants to trust her and his feelings, but with the whole town against her, will he stay by her side? Or will Lucy move on and find another place to make her dreams come true?
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Jan 20, 2013 @ 06:04:16
Liz your story really resonated with me.
I lost my husband to cancer after a seven year battle, when I was 32. Your thirties are a special time, when all your friends are peaking in their lives, children, careers, etc. It’s not a time for death or illness. It’s not a time to be weepy or grieving and having a medical debt so large, you lose your home, is crushing. I spent my thirties learning I was considered the ‘walking wounded’ by single men and those eager to date me were disappointed and ran when they learned I inherited a debt not a large insurance policy.
I finally gave up, got a greyhound, had my own benign C scare and worked at a job I hated while paying off the debt. I wrote and painted and collected rejection slips.
One night the apartment above me had a party, they had speakers larger than me positioned in the windows over my bedroom, I had a big day ahead so I called the police. I called three times. Finally, the police showed up at 3:30am and things got quiet.
The next day, three young men showed up with hat in hand to apologize. After that they continued to visit, one in particular. He’d show up 5 minutes after the China Dragon delivery guy came. I’d offer him half my food and eventually started ordering double portions. He’d show up at 11 or midnight if his roommates were having a party or hot dates and he’d sleep on my couch.
After three years of friendship, we finally started seeing each other. I was older than him and considered an emotional cripple, he was a withdrawn, shy artist who looked like The Edge from U2. Our friends thought we were crazy.
Today, 14 years later, we are happily married. He is the Director of Software at a company in the south and I work from home. A few years ago he agreed that I should dump the web design business that added stress not money to our lives and write.
Oddly, I was stuck. It took me a while to figure it out. My stories weren’t working and then I realized why. My life had acquired a HEA ending! I was still writing the doom and gloom –it felt foreign, it felt wrong. During NaNoWriMo, a few years ago, I was exposed to women who were arm-in-arm writing friends and they were all RWA members. I explored the HEA ending and it felt like home and it should! –after all… I was happy, new husband, new home and a sunny future!
Imagine meeting your true love by calling the police on him!
cristinegasser (at) gmail (dot) com
Cristine Gasser recently posted..The Real Life Villain, a Femme Fatale to take to the Bank
Jan 20, 2013 @ 09:36:33
Cristine: What a heartbreaking and yet wonderful story. Thanks for sharing.

Gwen Hernandez recently posted..Plotting my day
Jan 20, 2013 @ 06:18:03
Oh, Cristine, I love your story–not the sadness; I’m sorry that went on so long–but the winding and wonderful way of the HEA. Thanks for telling it!
Liz Flaherty recently posted..…just seasons out of time…
Jan 20, 2013 @ 07:42:13
Liz, we would be different people now, if it were not for what we lived through, and the HEA was worth every tear. I can feel such joy at watching birds at the feeder or even my husband snoring… I like who I am and I wouldn’t be me had it not been for that one life-course in karma college!
Cristine Gasser recently posted..The Real Life Villain, a Femme Fatale to take to the Bank
Jan 20, 2013 @ 07:00:49
Liz,
Feel like I know you much better from this –
And I’m so happy that you got YOUR HEA!
Jan 20, 2013 @ 07:29:54
Thanks, Laura!
Jan 20, 2013 @ 08:19:50
Hi, Liz! I love your romance with Duane – you two are always so sweet with each other (well, in the parts you share, lol)!! And his line to you is perfect. I’m so glad you’re living your HEA!!
Jan 20, 2013 @ 09:18:30
Thanks, Kristi. And LOL, too–there ARE parts I don’t share!
Liz Flaherty recently posted..…just seasons out of time…
Jan 20, 2013 @ 08:24:50
I can think of no words that can strike terror in the heart of a woman than, “Ms. So-and-So. We see a spot on one of your breasts.”
And I agree with you about working at a marriage. To keep one fresh and fun and alive, sometimes it does take work.
Thanks for being with us today
Jan 20, 2013 @ 09:19:57
Thanks so much for having me. This is one of my favorite blogs (of which I read way too many!)
I remember the terror, and the feeling of defeatism, which was new to me.
Liz Flaherty recently posted..…just seasons out of time…
Jan 20, 2013 @ 09:08:16
Liz, you made me cry–not just this post, but also Jar of Dreams, which was a beautiful story. Thanks so much for always touching me, particularly on days when I’m not sure I even want to be touched. You made my grumpy Sunday nicer. Bless you!
Jan 20, 2013 @ 09:21:03
Oh, Nan, thank you! I hope you’re feeling–and healing–better!
Liz Flaherty recently posted..…just seasons out of time…
Jan 20, 2013 @ 09:38:03
Liz:
I love your husband’s response. We talk about it a lot here, but romance definitely isn’t in the flowers, candy, and jewelry. It’s in those moments that show he really cares. Glad your scare was only a scare.
Gwen Hernandez recently posted..Plotting my day
Jan 20, 2013 @ 15:53:43
Thanks, Gwen. I agree–those are the moments that actually define romance.
Liz Flaherty recently posted..…just seasons out of time…
Jan 20, 2013 @ 09:49:25
Liz and Christine, you both made me cry. What wonderful happy endings!
Jan 20, 2013 @ 15:54:44
Thanks, Alison. Wasn’t Cristine’s story great?
Liz Flaherty recently posted..…just seasons out of time…
Jan 20, 2013 @ 11:28:07
Beautiful story, Liz.
Do you write these all down in a notebook, for your kids? You should!
Jan 20, 2013 @ 16:07:00
Thanks, D’Ann. I should have done that long ago, but didn’t. However, it seems as though I’ve either blogged or used in a newspaper column every story my family has!
Thanks for stopping by!
Liz Flaherty recently posted..…just seasons out of time…
Jan 20, 2013 @ 11:32:47
Great story, Liz, and your hubby is a keeper.
My keeper moment that came to mind was an anniversary when my children (I have four of them) were all young. My husband took the kids to my mother’s, bought steaks, and make me supper, which he served on our patio in our own backyard. It wasn’t expensive or fancy, but we were alone, and it was such a thoughtful thing to do that I’ve never forgotten.
Jan 20, 2013 @ 16:19:58
Oh, that’s a great one, Cheryl.
Liz Flaherty recently posted..…just seasons out of time…
Jan 20, 2013 @ 16:42:15
Oh Cheryl, he is definitely a keeper! Your husband knew that it takes very little to make romance, quiet time and a night off! I think if you pay attention to the person you love, you will know what they need!
My husband likes to make jerky of everything he puts on the grill! LOL but it’s over-cooked with love. Yoband knew that it takes very little to make romance, quiet time and a night off!
Cristine Gasser recently posted..The Real Life Villain, a Femme Fatale to take to the Bank
Jan 20, 2013 @ 11:39:16
I love that story, Liz! It’s the little things that we remember. They mean so much.
Jan 20, 2013 @ 16:20:44
Thanks, Shawn. They’re definitely the jewels in the crown, aren’t they?
Liz Flaherty recently posted..…just seasons out of time…
Jan 20, 2013 @ 13:16:56
Liz made me cry when I was prepping this post, and now, Cristine, you did, too! I’m so glad both of you have your wonderful partners in your lives now.
Thanks to everyone for commenting and sharing, and to Liz for being our guest today!
Natalie J. Damschroder recently posted..Under the Moon is a Daily Deal!
Jan 20, 2013 @ 16:47:14
Thanks again for having me. This has been a fun day!
Liz Flaherty recently posted..…just seasons out of time…
Jan 20, 2013 @ 13:23:56
Liz – I have a life full of Keeper Moments, but one comes to mind with special meaning. Ron and I had been childless for five years when we filed for adoption through the State of Oregon. A wonderful lady came to visit, looked around at our messy but large home in McMinnville, and said she had just the children for us. (Children? Plural?) We’d just bought the old house, I’d torn wallpaper with underwater blue lily pads off all the walls, certain the process would take a while.
“Children?” Ron asked her. She showed us a photo of three beautiful children taken with a veritable herd of Samoyed puppies. There were two boys, 10 and 8, and a 4 year-old girl. She said they’d been in foster care much too long but she was having difficulty placing them together. They’d have to remain in foster care or she would try to place them separately. (Rules may have changed today – this was 1973) Anyway, we had a long weekend to think about it. Their foster situation was changing and they had to be placed in three weeks.
Ron was a newspaper reporter, logical, lined up all the facts. We walked and talked all weekend and decided it was impractical and just more than we could afford. I tend to feel invincible when I want to do something. I’m often proven wrong, but it doesn’t seem to matter. Yet, we were talking about lives and I didn’t want to mess up.
Ron was leaving for work Monday morning, stopped in the doorway to kiss me goodbye, took a step toward the car, then turned back and said, “I’m in if you want to do it anyway.” If he was in, I knew it would work. I flew into his arms.
Today we have 8 grandchildren and 4 great-grandchildren. And I hope they’re all invincible!
Jan 20, 2013 @ 16:33:45
Oh, Muriel, I LOVE this story. Just read it to Duane.
Liz Flaherty recently posted..…just seasons out of time…
Jan 20, 2013 @ 14:42:28
Muriel, I just read your post to my husband, we want to adopt but we never considered registering with the state! You made me realize that they could say No, but we won’t know until we try! 1973 in Oregon might equal 2013 where we live, LOL! My husband said, “What he said… sounds good to me!” –a man of few words which is perfect, since I have too many.
You are an inspiration! I was tearing up!
Cristine Gasser recently posted..The Real Life Villain, a Femme Fatale to take to the Bank
Jan 20, 2013 @ 14:52:50
Good luck, Cristine! Our State caseworker was wonderful, and, at that time, anyway, the only costs involved would have been from our lawyer. But he was a friend and did it for nothing. (Not that children aren’t worth whatever it costs, but the costs from some private agencies make it almost prohibitive for a lot of us.)
Jan 20, 2013 @ 16:44:36
Yes, Muriel, it’s crazy expensive! –my husband wondered if they came with prepaid college and cars, when he saw the costs! At first we looked into surrogacy but Yikes!
Cristine Gasser recently posted..The Real Life Villain, a Femme Fatale to take to the Bank
Jan 20, 2013 @ 16:46:32
I have two nieces and a nephew from China. My nephew and his wife were nearing 40 and had health issues, so domestic adoption was nearly out of the question. Lily, Lucy, and Sam have brought boundless delight to all of us. The costs were horrendous and their parents laugh about getting them paid off in time to secure college loans, but it’s sure been worth it.
Liz Flaherty recently posted..…just seasons out of time…
Jan 20, 2013 @ 14:57:40
Okay, you people have to stop making me tear up! sniff sniff
What great stories.
Jan 20, 2013 @ 18:28:16
Liz – that’s a wonderful photo of the two of you. I’ve never seen Duane before – what a cutie. So glad you’re here with all of us and gracing us with your wonderful books. Nice chatting with you and Cristine, and have enjoyed everyone’s posts. Was fun stopping by.
Have a great week. everybody!
Jan 22, 2013 @ 12:41:54
First I want to say how happy I am your biopsy was negative, Liz. I’m so very sorry about your mom and aunt, though. Second- what a keeper that is to share!
I don’t know of any particular keeper moments in my life. My husband is a romantic at heart so he’s good at those little moments. lol One would be after our daughter had almost died in a heroine-induced car wreck. I was feeling completely down about everything; life, how I raised our daughters, what kind of wife I was, everything. Mitch hugged me and told me how proud he was of me and what a great mother and wife I was. That made me feel so loved, even if I didn’t feel better about myself right away.
Calisa Rhose recently posted..Fender-Bender Interview! ~ Calisa Rhose
Jan 22, 2013 @ 17:02:24
Oh, Calisa, I’m so sorry for the horror that must have been, but what a great thing that Mitch knew exactly the right thing to say and do. I hope your daughter’s life has gotten back into place. Thank you for coming by.
Liz Flaherty recently posted..…we had joy, we had fun…
Jan 23, 2013 @ 23:28:07
Liz, I’m late, but your an inspiration. Thanks for sharing your journey with us!
Donnell recently posted..Library & Bookclub Questions
Jan 25, 2013 @ 15:52:57
I know I’m late but wow! That is an awesome story. Thank you so much for sharing. I think those types of romantic moments beat the flowers and flowery talk kind any day!
Shawna