I’m moving into the phase of my writing career where I need to start sending out query letters. What’s holding me back is the fear of being rejected. I know it’s all part of the process. I know I can’t get better unless I get good feedback. I know an editor or agent isn’t going to magically appear on my doorstep and offer me a contract. If you don’t submit you might as well quit, right? LOL
I’m looking for advice on how to overcome this paralyzing fear. Do you have a magic cure for the doubts that circle in my head? It’s not polished enough. It’s not good enough. The storyline isn’t original enough. Ah! I’ve worked many long, hard years on this manuscript and to think that with one glance it could, and probably will, end up in the slush pile makes my toenails curl.
Yes, I need a thicker skin. I understand that a rejection is only an opinion of the person reading it, but it doesn’t make the feelings disappear. This is the year I’ve promised myself I will send it out until there is no one else to send it to. I’ve made my lists. I’ve checked them twice. I’ve even made a pretty little box to hold all those wonderful rejections. Now all I have to do is get up the nerve to press that send key, or make that long daunting trip to the post office.
How do you deal with rejections? Will it get easier after each one?
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Unfortunately, Melissa, the only way to do it is…. well, just to do it. Like learning how to swim, you just have to jump off the side of the pool and into the water.
Everyone deals with rejections differently. Some people shrug it off and say “Next!”. Some wail and yell and say “Next!” Some indulge in favorite things, whether it’s favorite foods or favorite books until they overdose, then say “Next!”
Hit the SEND key. Slap on the stamps and mail it. Then, forget about it until you get a response.
You never know what can happen. You’ve heard me say before “Lightning DOES strike… why not you?”
So…. why not you?????
Go for it. I’ve read your book. It’s good. Very good.
So… why not you?!?!?!?
You never know until you roll the dice…..:)
I was listening to an interview with Robert Crais last night. Crais is famous for his Elvis Cole and Joe Pike series of books. He’s won award after award. The first book in the series (The Monkey’s Raincoat) was rejected nine times before it sold. Now, Crais had already sold books prior to Elvis Cole, it was hard a sell.
Good advice from William above.
I never had this fear of rejection. I finished my terrible manuscript and hit the post office without a second look back! The rejections rolled in. The form rejections didn’t bother me (and still don’t). My first ‘no’ to requested material hurt my feelings. But I was still new enough to the game that I didn’t realize that so many were rejected on requested material. LOL. I thought that was IT when I sent off my partial.
William does have good advice. Since I didn’t have this nervous thing, I’m afraid I don’t have much to offer you!
Thanks William, you always gives the best advice and your support is priceless. This fear is something I struggle with in every thing I do. I’m getting better at putting myself and my work out there, but it is really a slow grueling process.
Here is to rolling those dang dice as many times as it takes! LOL
Cyndi, I hadn’t heard about Robert Crais’s experience with rejections. I’ll be adding it to my list of all those who have gone before and made it despite the odds.
You need to bottle that nerve and sell it, Keri! You’d make a bundle. LOL I sent out this manuscript as soon as I wrote the end thinking it was wonderful. That was over five years ago. I’m horrified when I think about how sad it was at the time. Now with all I’ve learned about craft and the publishing side, it’s made it harder to submit. Ignorance is bliss as they say.
Read this post, Melissa! I found the link on Janet Reid’s blog:
http://www.murderati.com/blog/2009/4/19/how-do-you-know-when-to-quit.html
About halfway through, she talks about a speech Christie Craig did on rejections and when to quit. Sounds amazing and wish I could have been there to see it.
When I was new, it was pretty disheartening. Now, I just say, “Oh, well” and move on. I don’t take it personally, even if it starts to feel that way. It does bother me, sure, but I try really hard not to let it. Everyone gets rejected before they sell. I mean there’s probably one person who hasn’t (heck, maybe two) but most everyone else has a big file of rejections. Hey, at least you made your rejection box pretty.
They don’t really hurt me, but then I’ve been trained to know that No’s can’t actually hurt. I’m not saying I like them. I guess it’s the fact that without them we can’t get published. Most people never submit book one, query one, and become a published author.
When I’ve listened to other big time author’s tell their true stories of the rejections they received before publication, I realized if they could get them then it’s part of the journey and I’ll continue forward.
Christi’s story is amazing, Keri! William sent me a link to it as well. Thank you both so much!! Never say never! And Never quit!! Got it!!
Thanks Amy and Vicki! Just knowing I’m not alone in this makes me feel better. I’m going to remember that No’s can’t hurt me and keep my eyes on the prize!
Rejection never gets easier, but you just have to keep telling yourself that you must move on and try again.
Wish there was something bright and new to say, but if there is I can’t think of it. I guess what keeps me doing it is the plain fact that you can’t get an acceptance if you don’t submit. Sure, you might get a rejection (and in fact the odds are that you will, statistically speaking) but unless you put yourself out there, you’re sure as heck not going to be published.
I have gotten TONS of rejections in the past, and I never really had a problem with giving up. I have always known deep inside my heart that I was meant to be a published author. Do you have a critique partner? I have felt more positive about my work since I have let other authors critique my work. They give me suggestions and advice on how I can improve my story. You may get rejected a few times, but then, you never know what is waiting for you just around the corner.
I have some wonderful and supportive critique partners. And you are so right, Jamie. They have really helped me make my work stronger. The self-doubting monster is something I’ll have to tackle on my own.
Thanks for your comments too, Beppie and Jane!