I was sitting here muttering to myself while trying to nail down the plot of my current masterpiece in progress — specifically working out the arc of the relationship between the wary heroine, emerging from grief, and the troubled hero, coping with guilt, and concentrating on the inevitable Black Moment when the future of their relationship seems impossible — when I rocked back in my chair and thought how different real life is.
It’s not that Black Moments don’t exist. The Architect and I have been married for many, many years, and we’ve had our share. I think the first one was very shortly after our marriage when I was freezing to death in our London flat and turned on the electric fan heater. My English husband looked at it, looked at me, and said, “We can’t afford to run that all the time.” I stared back at him appalled, seeing a dreadfully cold future stretching out in front of me. Years and years of goosebumps and shivering and hot water bottles shoved into icy beds. There was a Black Moment all right, only instead of happening just before the Happily Ever After ending, it was happening at the You Can’t Be Serious beginning.
I got over it, or perhaps I should say we got over it. I learned to wear more clothing in the house, he learned that heat was one of my primary priorities and so the electric fan heater did run from time to time (me guarding it with suspicious eyes and karate chops to anyone trying to mess with it), and I learned how to fill a hot water bottle so that it absolutely will not leak. Details available on request.
So the Black Moment faded out to Gray and, if it didn’t entirely go away, it modulated into part of the way we are. The next one, if I remember right, came about at a party of our neighbors when I was waxing eloquent about the many things that my dear Architect hadn’t gotten around to doing at our house. (We were all, in that neighborhood, reasonably newly married, furnished with approx. 1 child each, redoing our houses to express our brilliant personalities.) It wasn’t until we got home that my dearly loved husband looked me straight in the eye and told me how I’d embarrassed him. MEGA Black Moment. Let’s see. My fatal flaw was choosing to be what I thought was witty — and people did laugh! — and his was — well, I guess his was being noncompulsive, which was one of the things I loved him for! It took about one or two repetitions, much milder, thank goodness, before that trigger for a Black Moment came under control, but I’m better at smiling and keeping my mouth shut now, and he’s better at giving me a warning look if I get near his public boundaries. But it didn’t lead to Happily Ever After.
Instead it led to more recent Black Moments which a) I can’t remember at the moment, an obvious case of self-protective amnesia, or b) they would take too long to explain, but looking back at the accumulation of them, it strikes me that the wonderful thing about fiction is that the resolution of the Black Moment is the final stumbling block before the rosy future of the Happily Ever After, quite often (particularly in category romance) illustrated by hero and heroine passing beautiful offspring (astoundingly often multiple births) back and forth between them.
Whereas in real life, one Happily Ever After is just the resting spot before you blunder into the next Black Moment. Maybe the reason we like the HEAs in fiction is that they demonstrate the hope, however false it might be, that it’s possible to live in lifelong peace and harmony. Well, it might be — what do I know? I’m just the veteran of one long marriage!
So I can craft my Black Moments and HEAs on the page, but when it comes to real life, I’m stumbling through the same stuff without the security of knowing that ever after is guaranteed. And even if it could happen, the everlasting ever after would probably bore us both spitless.
So hurray for Black Moments. Hurrah for HEAs, however long they may be. And most of all, Viva Real Life! That’s me, anyway. Have you crafted a Black Moment free real life? or a perfectly plotted fictional one?
Beppie, what a grerat post! It’s so true, we have many black moments and HEA’s. But man wouldn’t life get boring with out them.
Not that Science Guy and I argue much, because it’s exetremely seldom. But life isn’t the picture we write about and really I don’t know that I’d want it to be.
Interesting post, Beppie! Hubs and I rarely argue. We do a lot of pick-fighting that most find annoying
Yep, that’s us, like 2 kids on the playground. We’ve had our rows. The one that stands out is when I grew into my body a little bit and came out of clothes from high school and into more adult/cleavage/hip hugging articles. Hubs did not enjoy the change.
How did we settle our difference? We spent a few days doing petty to things to one another. I remember fixing him tater tots for lunch when he doesn’t care for them.
This is a good reason why I enjoy series. When you see characters who’ve had their HEA but still argue, it makes you feel darn normal.
Well, I for one think the black moment is so overrated. Okay, I know they have to exist for conflict’s sake, but some of them tick me off. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read a book and got to the black moment and thought, “Well, all he’s got to do is ask her sister if she slept with the other guy.” I mean sometimes the h/h are so stupid. Hello? Anybody ever think of opening his or her mouth and asking a simple question? LOL
So I guess I am picky with how the black moment is done. Some are done brilliantly, but others (picture me shaking my head). I guess some of them don’t work for me because of my personality. I just wouldn’t let him walk away, making assumptions. I would be like, “Hey, come back here. I’ve got to ask you a question!”
As to my hubbie and our black moments – well, we’ve had our share. I’m pretty passionate (that French/native American ancestory) and there have been some dramatic demonstrations – even packing up and leaving one time during that first year of marriage. But overall, those black moments make for some fantastic…hmmmm…white moments?
Amy I am so with you there. Nothing jerks me out of the story quicker than when a couple only needs to have 2minute conversation of honesty to straighten out all their problems.
Vicki, yes that’s what I mean about the time span part of it. How long is “ever after” anyway? In our books it lasts about one chapter! In real life, well — I guess it depends. But I think the Black (and near Black) Moments, to the extent they exist in real life, help move the intimacy a little deeper. Which is, come to think of it, exactly what we use them for in fiction!
Amy and Keri — you obviously think along the same line as Victoria Curran of HQ Superromance. When I was pitching my first (lamentably learner) novel to her, that was one of the things she asked about: could the problem be resolved if they just talked to each other? And of course it could have. Duh.
So I suppose the real purpose of the fictional Black Moment should be not only to present conflict, but to carve a deeper channel of intimacy between h/h. Hmmm. (Hear my awakening plot-constructing skills murmuring?)
I love it Beppie. Real life is so much tougher than our stories. Although, we try to make them as realistic as we can. To be fair to my story, I don’t have time to put a life-times black moments in my book. Grin. Besides, it would my story boring. lol
Hugs,
Sandy
Very cool post, Beppie! I’m tired and have to work early, so I can’t come up with much more than that. Well, other than I really like your comparison of Black Moment in the book to our real life Black Moments and how in reality we have many more than our books. I guess that’s why I enjoy reading so much.
I loved this post! As for the black moments in my two novels, well, yes, of course, they are as black as I could make them for the circumstances in the plot, and of course there is the HEA. Funny how I never think of my characters living after that last HEA scene, but then again, I don’t (yet) write series.
In real life, I agree that the black moments — if we get through them, lol — tend to increase intimacy. I remember reading an article by a psychologist in which it was said that a relationship deepens after the first “fight” because the couple realizes that they can indeed weather a storm. And that realization leads to increased confidence in the relationship, and thus increased comfort. And, having been married for many years, like Beppie, I tend to think that most black moments in our marriage have tended ultimately to have positive results in the long term.
Great post, Beppie! The Forklift Driver and I have had many such moments over the 20 plus years we’ve been together, but we’ve managed to not embarrass each other too badly.
Beppie, I loved this post, and how right you are! Real life has many more scenes than the books we write.
What a great post, Beppie!
Yes, those Black Moments, which in many cases just leads to shades of gray…
Happily Ever After is the goal but in books, it’s simply The End. For everyone else, it’s The Beginning. *grin*
Loved this!
Smiles,
Chiron O’Keefe
http://www.chironokeefe.blogspot.com